I miss the days when life was complicated in simpler ways

The IT Crowd on US television!

2008-10-05T21:35:00.003-04:00

Good news! Someone pointed out the other day that The IT Crowd is now airing on US TV! Set your DVRs and Tivos to record it from 3-3:30 am on Wednesdays, on IFC (which apparently is the "Independent Film Channel").

And stay tuned... in a week I'll have more to say on this topic! :)

Avast, ye scum!

2008-09-19T22:44:00.001-04:00

Arrrr!

what's that I hear?

2008-05-26T09:12:00.001-04:00

If you know me, you know I have... well... eclectic music tastes. If you're seeking some good music, here are some of my top recent choices:

- House of Cards and All I Need, Radiohead
- Believe, The Bravery
- Starlight, Muse
- The Stone, Ashes Divide
- Hello and Little Sparrow, David Cook
- Psycho, Puddle of Mudd
- Here's My Hello, Blake Lewis
- Rose Red, Emilie Autumn
- This Is the Night, The Weird Sisters (from a Harry Potter soundtrack, featuring two Radiohead members)
- You Know My Name, Chris Cornell
- The Wind that Shakes the Barley, Solas
- The Carlow Set, Culann's Hounds
- Tables and Chairs, Andrew Bird
- Release, The Tea Party

miss me?

2008-05-25T00:55:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the long dry spell in my blogging. What have I been doing all this time? Good question. I most certainly have not been making progress on my personal goal of visiting three new countries a year. Alas.

Here are the last couple months, in pictures:

Easter Egg dyed with onion skins (the traditional way).

Kite festival in DC. I appreciated the dragon kites and pirate ship kites.

More from the kite festival.

Cherry blossoms.

This pretty much sums up life in the passenger seat with Emily driving.

Radiohead in Tampa, FL. Uh-MAY-zing! I think we stayed at the same hotel as the band, too. And I'm not to be blamed for Emily's newfound gambling addiction.

popularity x2

2008-03-31T23:49:00.000-04:00

I really like the fact that this season's American Idol songs are on iTunes. It's not necessarily fair that they're raking in all that money... but it is good to get a preview of what the contestants' recordings will sound like. Even better that they're now doing full studio versions of the songs. I've realized that yes, I still do like David Cook (lots), and David Archuleta is cute but his music sounds very Broadway tune.

I hope they start early on recording original songs. That will really help us see whether we want to make a longer term commitment to their albums.

It kinda makes you wonder... What happens if one of these contestants' songs go gold or platinum. Would we (or they) even know?

Let's say, hypothetically, that you could run a general search in itunes for "american idol," or some other text that shows up in every American Idol song title. Hypothetically, then, you might see not only songs from the current American Idol contestants, but also songs from previous winners and runners up. Let's say, again hypothetically, that you right clicked on the column headings and turned on the Popularity column... which you clicked on to sort in descending order of popularity. What if (and this is a big if) you found that David Cook's version of "Billie Jean" was more popular on itunes than Jordin Sparks' songs "No Air" and "Tattoo," as well as Daughtry's "Home." Would you be impressed?

predicting the future

2008-03-08T15:32:00.001-05:00

So, American Idol fans. Have you downloaded any of the competitors' live recordings from iTunes yet? I've only downloaded one -- "Hello," performed by David Cook. Wow, that was an amazing version of that song.

There's another reason to check out the American Idol songs on iTunes: to get a feel for how well your favorite contestants are doing. It's not possible to see in (more or less) real time how people are voting on the phone, but you CAN see how people are voting with their money. It's that nice little "popularity" rating that iTunes shows.

So here's what you do... run an iTunes search for "American Idol Performance." When you get the results, sort them by popularity. If you take a leap and assume that people are also voting for the contestants whose songs they're buying, David Archuleta, David Cook, and Jason Castro are at the top of the pack. Brooke White and Carly Smithson appear to be the only girls with songs currently in the top 15 most downloaded.

It will be interesting to see whether the download trends match the voting trends for future episodes... or if iTunes will decide to hide the popularity stats at some point.

Just go rewrite the calendar, why doncha?

2008-02-29T23:44:00.005-05:00

As I pointed out here, the sad news is that people who were born on leap day are unlikely ever to celebrate a golden birthday. That fact is so sad, it causes me to weep mightily.

Have you ever wondered why we have leap years? Or April Fool's Day, for that matter? You can thank Pope Gregory XIII. He and some other guy didn't like the fact that the Julian Calendar rounded the length of the year off wrong, so every year, the first day of spring (which I think was used as a marker to determine various religious holidays) fell on a slightly earlier date. At some point it became so early in the year that they decided to revisit the whole calendar thing. They created the Gregorian calendar way back in the 16th century... 365 days in a year, plus a leap year every fourth year, except for "centenary years," which are only leap years if they're divisible by 400.

TMI? Ah, sorry. Calendars are yet another random interest of mine.

SO... way, way later... 1752, if I remember correctly (shoot, now you know how old I am!) the UK (which was not called the UK at the time) adopted the calendar. At least, that was the first full year that they used the calendar. Shifting dates, confusion, craziness, etc. April Fool's Day was the day that would have been the start of the year, except that the Gregorian Calendar made January the beginning of the year... the "April fools" were the people who (silly them) forgot that April was no longer the start of the year.

Ever wondered why Orthodox Easter, etc. are on different days than Roman Catholic Easter? That also ties into the calendar change. They still estimate some of their holidays by using the Julian calendar, which predated the Gregorian calendar.

And you think your calendar is stable now? Ha, hardly -- just look at the way they keep moving Mr. Ben Franklin's beloved Daylight Savings Time around. Incidentally, don't forget to change your clock next weekend! :)

This will save you some time on Election Day

2008-02-26T00:40:00.000-05:00

Ah, well, there goes the illusion of democracy. I hope our nation's shadowy overlords forgive the technical glitch.

Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early

Hooray for the illusion of democracy! :)

Work is fun!!

2008-02-22T00:12:00.001-05:00

Ah, Google. They're all about tricking us into working for them... for free. The latest? Google Image Labeler. It's clever, actually. You and some arbitrary other Internet user team up to assign labels to images... you have to guess labels until you both say the same thing. Once you both come up with the same label for an image, you get points and move on to another image.

Interesting idea! Keywording, the game.

p.s. maybe it's not new, but I hadn't noticed it before today..

Thanks, Hollywood writers, for caving in

2008-02-17T22:52:00.004-05:00

Life without Hollywood writers has been pretty rocky. I wasn't sure whether I'd survive. I've had to resort to watching reality TV! Oh, that's right, I watch reality shows anyway. Never mind, then. But life without good writing really is miserable.

Case in point: that new movie, Jumper. Ugh. It was like The OC trying to do SciFi. Our guess is that desperate movie producers hired 14-year-olds to write the script. It was JUST THAT BAD. I gave it two stars (out of five) on Netflix. Later realized that it didn't have enough redeeming qualities to push it to 2 stars. I need to go back and cut that rating in half.

Lost has been good so far. Better than Season 3, which was just meh.

Project Runway = GREAT! This has been a good season. It's up there with Season 1 and Season 2 (I've convinced myself that Daniel Vosovic won Season 2).

Celebrity Apprentice has been mostly blah, with the exception of one bright star. Country star, that is. And I don't even like country music! I have been nothing but impressed by Trace Adkins. He sits quietly in the corner during brainstorming, arms folded or hands together. Inane ideas float about. Then suddenly he decides to voice an idea, in his deep Southern drawl. Every time, it's this genius marketing slogan. He's like the country music version of Gandalf. I want him to win. But that doesn't mean I have to like his music. :)

Oh, important news: FINALLY, the SciFi channel is going to have an HD channel!! We're getting it in my area on 1 March. Exciting event--must party!! Ooh, yikes, I'm afraid I've become a boring person...

-

Just needs a little sparkle

2008-02-15T01:46:00.000-05:00

Feeling down this Valentine's Day? Just add a little sparkle to your life...

It's that time again

2008-02-10T14:01:00.000-05:00

It's February 10th already. And you know what that means: less than a week until... the Great Backyard Bird Count! Oh, yeah, you thought I was going to say Valentine's Day, didn't you. I'm saving that for another day.

SO, what's this bird count thing? Basically, you sit at home and stare out the window. You can do this in a depressed manner, if you like... that may help round out the Valentine's Day season. If you see any birds, try to figure out what they are (this can help), and then submit the info. It doesn't take long, and there's the added bonus of creeping out any neighbors who see you sitting at the window, simply staring (even better... with binoculars). Rockin'.

Snow day!

2008-01-31T21:19:00.000-05:00

Aww, it's the last random recipe of January! Don't be sad. I may post more next month.

Today's recipe is filed under "didn't quite turn out as expected." Tortilla snowflakes! Just fold a tortilla, then cut out shapes, just as you would with a paper snowflake. Careful, cuz they like to break. Unfold the tortilla, then bake at 350 degrees (F) for 10 minutes or so, til it's crispy. The recipe I found had some funky steps after that, like melting chocolate chips on it, but it sounded too complicated. Sprinkle powdered sugar or a cinnamon/sugar combo on it (may need to butter it up a bit to make the topping stick).

End result was okay, but not wonderful. What I did learn was how easy it is to make my own baked (i.e. substantially healthier) tortilla chips! Woohoo!

Pixies:

Nests of Jelly Birds

2008-01-24T21:25:00.000-05:00

Jelly birds make chocolate nests, and lay jelly beans. I mean, jelly eggs. Oh, whatever, I just want to provide another random recipe.

OK, today's simple, random cooking lesson is on candy birds' nests. This is a variation on the "chocolate haystacks" recipe, which itself is quite simple. Melt chocolate chips, then mix in a little bit of peanut butter. Stir in chow mein noodles. Drop spoonfuls of the mixture onto waxed paper and carefully smoosh down the center parts. Refrigerate the nests til the chocolate solidifies, then add jelly beans to the middles.

Hmm... this would probably be a good Easter or springtime treat. Ah, so maybe I'm a few months early... At least I used Valentine's Day colored jelly beans.

Yum, sushi!

2008-01-21T22:56:00.000-05:00

Anyone who knows me knows of my love for sushi. Oh, wait, it's the opposite. I'm not a big fan of that particular Japanese dish. Or most other Japanese dishes. However, I do like this version. Start with a fruit roll up (unrolled). Add shredded coconut. It wouldn't be sushi without fish... I used the Swedish variety. Roll it up, then slice it. Mmm, sugary...

Feeling pelagic?

2008-01-20T00:40:00.000-05:00

I wanted to keep up my January theme of funky foodstuffs, so I went a-lookin' online for creative ideas. And then I found one: cream cheese and olive penguins! Cute idea, sounds easy (only three... er, four... ingredients - large olives for body, small olives for head, cream cheese, and carrots). It was surprisingly aggravating (and messy) to stuff the cream cheese into the olive body. Ah, well, here's my attempt:

Sarah - sorry, but don't ask me to make these for you!! :)

Alphabetical Pizza

2008-01-13T15:30:00.000-05:00

I keep coming across these random recipes, and I just have to try them out. This one came from some Men's Health recipe book. You take a pre-made pizza crust (I used one of the Boboli's mini crusts), then top it with Chef Boyardee's alphabet-shaped pasta with meatballs. I couldn't find the Chef Boyardee version, so--despite warnings that Spaghetti-Os are too "soupy"--used the equivalent Spaghetti-Os product. Sprinkle shredded mozzarella and parmesan cheese on top, followed by oregano. Bake til heated through. Voila! As a bonus, you can practice making Scrabulous words while you're eating!

Eat dirt

2008-01-10T23:00:00.000-05:00

I might as well continue on my "unusual foods" trend. I mean, why not? It's not as if there are TV shows to discuss. Tonight's food is a favorite from my childhood: DIRT CUPS! Yum.

You've probably heard of these before. It's simple... chocolate pudding, then mashed up cookies. Most people use Oreos, but I can't stand Oreos. Instead, I opted for crushed chocolate mint Milanos. Much better. Top it with a gummy worm or two.

Seafood!

2008-01-08T00:00:00.000-05:00

Making my meatloaf cake masterpiece got me thinking about other recipes that are great to take into work the next day. So tonight I made a meal based on my love of giant sea creatures. Credit goes to Taste of Home's Fast Fixes with Mixes cookbook (recipes are fast and creative). The name of this recipe is "Octopus and Seaweed." It's just ramen noodles + a few drops of green food coloring + hot dogs with the bottom 4/5ths cut into 8 pieces.

And here's the end result:

Looks a little better than it tastes... I'd forgotten how salty ramen noodles are!! Ah, well, it was worth it!

Let them eat cake!!

2008-01-04T00:12:00.000-05:00

One of my 2008 new year's resolutions is to finish up the family cookbook that was supposed to be a 2007 Christmas gift for my family. It's nearly there. I might actually keep this resolution. Lately I've been cooking and photographing various family favorites (or possible new family favorites) for the book.

Tonight's dish was one I've been wanting to make for a long time: meatloaf cake! I had made the idea up when Emily was taking cake decorating classes. Naturally, when I looked it up later other people had already done it. That's the problem with the Internet -- it's really hard to feel unique and creative. No matter how clever you think you are, someone has probably already thought of it.

Back to the cake. The recipe is very simple... you cook meatloaf (ground beef or turkey) in two small round pans, then stack them (using mashed potatoes in the middle to make your layers stick together). Frost it with mashed potatoes, decorate with cherry tomatoes and ketchup, then serve! Mmmm... Dessert for dinner! Almost. This dish is recommended for April Fool's Day, if you're planning ahead.

Naturally, you want to see pictures. I'm not the pastry chef of the family, but hey, it turned out halfway decent! Except the ketchup was rather uncooperative. See here:

Happy eating!

The end of a good year

2007-12-31T09:36:00.000-05:00

Actually, 2007 wasn't that great of a year. I'm glad to see it go. To wrap up, for your benefit, here are a few highlights of my 2007 blogging:

Look Around You
Judging books by their covers
Birds
The IT Crowd
Shipwrecks
Windows Vista and Nostradamus
Visiting SoVA
Last-minute travel
Valentine's Day - How to stay depressed and alone
Tutorial on writing Valentines
Luck with Kitchen Appliances
New Years' Resolutions
Famous Danes
Holidays and Palindromes
UFOs
The Fashion Conspiracy
More Music
More Denmark
Staying in mansions
A new car
Computer humor
Defcon 2007 Badge
L33t hax0r on Teen Jeopardy
Fish jokes
L33t street sign
Golden birthdays
Last but not least, my birds.

Happy New Year!!

Thumbs down.

2007-12-27T11:45:00.000-05:00

I didn't say it--Radiohead did! Something about a New Year's Eve performance of In Rainbows?

Details: http://current.com/items/88799983_thumbs_down

Hmm. I wonder if it will be rebroadcast. I already have plans to see Carbon Leaf that night!

My sister is a bad influence.

2007-12-21T20:13:00.000-05:00

I've been in Florida for one day, and Emily has already got me playing isketch. It's like Pictionary, except totally different, because Pictionary is called Pictionary and isketch is called isketch.

Jolly fun.

A different take on...

2007-12-15T14:36:00.000-05:00

New take on:

- Chocolate: B.T. McElrath. Delicious!

- News and information: Current.com. User-controlled content, videos, music, etc. Users can even submit their own commercials! And they update you on what's hot online--latest Google Trends (#1 right now is "Elf on a Shelf"), viral videos, and other data to help you know how to live your life.

- Charging your ipod. I make no claims as to whether or not you really can charge an ipod using a USB cable, an onion, and Gatorade. But this YouTube commentary (edited slightly for grammar) is priceless:

Comment: So when you stick that plug in the onion, will it ruin the USB port cable?
Response #1: It will with out a doubt ruin the onion
Response #2: well duh
Response #3: well done captain obvious. Dont want to wreck an onion cause they are so expensive.
Response #4: especially with absorbed gatorade

Birds and basketball

2007-12-07T00:48:00.000-05:00

Have I mentioned that I have birds? Yeah, I do. Their names are: Hope, Joy, Youth, Peace, Rest, Life, Dust, Ashes, Waste, Want, Ruin, Despair, Madness, Death, Cunning, Folly, Words, Wigs, Rags, Sheepskin, Plunder, Precedent, Jargon, Gammon, and Spinach. Aw, I'm kidding. Any Dickens fans? Those are the names of Miss Flite's birds in Bleak House. If you're illiterate, you can watch this version. It's really, really good.

Anyway, one of my parakeets has recently trained himself to play basketball. I put some large wooden beads on the bottom of the cage... he picks them up, and throws them out of the cage. With gusto. Or anger. I can't tell which.

It's so exciting, I made a video just for you! Aw, c'mon, it's only 30 seconds.

mooseekah

2007-12-04T23:35:00.000-05:00

Ah, music. That little light in our lives. Did you know that American Idol runner up Blake Lewis' CD came out today? After work I stopped and bought it. Yeah, I know, buying a physical CD... that's so 90s of me. But not many "buy music" apps or sites are supported under Linux. My sad life.

Anyway, a few thoughts re: this new masterpiece. Hmm... maybe "masterpiece" is the wrong word. On the plus side, when I listened to it I definitely didn't think, "oh, those mean producers; I can't believe they made him sing those songs." There are even a couple of songs that I could see myself listening to more than once.

BUT... there are quite a few songs that sound a bit too "boy band" for my taste. And there are a couple that I can only describe as a beat boxing Savage Garden. Listen to the CD. You'll know right away which ones I'm talking about.

Ah, well, my Radiohead CD is on the way now, too. In Rainbows is splendid! I'm always amazed by how every Radiohead album is new, innovative, and distinct from the other albums... but at the same time, they're distinctively Radiohead. Ahh, Radiohead. And OK Computer. My favorite CD of all time.

What more can I say?

All that controversy

2007-12-02T02:55:00.000-05:00

This evening I saw the new movie The Golden Compass. As I was watching TV a few days ago I saw something about pre-release screenings in my area. Sure enough, one of the screenings was at the movie theater only a few miles from where I live. After all the brewing controversy over the books (which I haven't read), I was very curious. Plus, my brother-in-law worked on the movie.

Overall, I enjoyed it... it was much darker than I had expected, and had some surprisingly frightening parts. As for the controversy bit, as far as I could tell, the author seemed to be arguing against the 17th Century Roman Catholic church. Yaay, Galileo!

Hmm... I don't want to give anything away, since the movie doesn't officially come out until next week. But I will say that it ends with a major cliffhanger. I kept thinking, "It's gotta be ending soon, but there seems to be a lot of plot left. How will they wrap it up?" And then it ended... "Oh, that's how. A sequel."

After the movie I waited around to see my brother-in-law's name in the credits. The "Rhythm & Hues" section started, and then the picture cut out... The sound was still working, but you couldn't see any more of the credits. Nice. Sorry, Rob, I still don't know if you REALLY worked on the movie... :)

Anyway, in closing, the movie is definitely not one for young kids. The plot is creative and innovative, and visually, the movie is great. It's just a tad scary for wee lads and lassies. For grownups, though, I'd definitely recommend it.

I hope we understand one another

2007-12-01T02:30:00.000-05:00

I don't really have anything to say at this immediate moment, but I noticed that my November blog posting count was fairly low. So I'm going to flashback, and talk about my first ever blog -- on Look Around You. OK, no I'm not. I'm just going to link to that article, and display the video for Little Mouse.

Ah, yes. That's why I love it. You rock, Peter Serafinowicz and Robert Popper. You rock. I'm still depressed that the screening of the Peter Serafinowicz Show (that is, the one I had tickets to see while I was in London) was canceled... Alas. Maybe someday it'll show up on BBC America...?

Little Mouse Lyrics.

Since the TV season is getting cut short...

2007-11-28T01:22:00.000-05:00

Ah, yes. Fall television shows. Thanks to the writers' strike, they're all ending soon. Alas. I just might have to start doing productive things rather than watch TV. Anyway, here are my reviews of some fall TV:

- Kid Nation: Despite what some have said, I don't really think of it as child exploitation. It's more like a long, strange summer camp. They did have one of the worst challenges I've ever seen--chewing bubble gum, then handing it off to their team leader to create a "chew by numbers" picture!?! Yuck. And not hygienic.

- Pushing Daisies -- I love this show!! I can't even force myself to delete old episodes from my DVR. But I don't want to give anything away... so you will just have to watch it!

- Project Runway is back! No script, no writers, no strike, right? :) Anyway, one of my favorite things about Project Runway is the auction site--you can watch what people actually are willing to pay for the designs. Or you can buy them. But they only fit 6'1" size 0 women. Well... so they say. But this season's designs are telling me that I don't understand the latest fashion. This winning design would fit more than 6'1" size 0 women. It will also fit REAL women, including ones who want to dress like a pumpkin for Halloween. Top fashion? Um... okaaaaay... but if you tape eyes and a mouth to the front, you'll be a jack-o-lantern!

- In general, I'm not a fan of car shows. There is one exception: the British show Top Gear. I first happened upon this a few years ago in London. They had a race to see if it was faster to drive or fly or drive from London to a ski resort in Switzerland. It pretty much ended up a tie. Anyway, BBC America has started showing episodes. Example episode: take some arbitrary car, cut it in half, and turn it into a limo. Then drive a famous person to an award ceremony in it. Niiiice! But apparently it is also controversial.

- Bones? Yes, the acting is cheesy as ever. And the puns and other silliness. Like the tech episode featuring "Gil Bates." So creative. Yet still I watch...

- House this season is totally blah. If today's episode is as dumb as the rest of this season has been, I'm done watching it. I swear the first season... maybe even two seasons... was good. Alas, no longer.

- Heroes has been good this season... suspenseful and unpredictable. Too bad next week is the end of the "chapter"!

- Flash Gordon - This one surprised me. It started out cheesy, and is still cheesy, but it has drawn me in.

- Amazing Race - I haven't watched it for a few years. I was curious because I wanted to see how the goth couple would do. So far, they're doing well... interestingly, in the Top Dancer challenge, a group of VERY picky African villagers liked their dancing.

OK, that is enough. Time to go do something not TV-related.

Tanks mooch

2007-11-14T22:55:00.000-05:00

Y'know, I never got around to posting 'bout my Ireland trip. Where did I leave off? Ahh, yes... dictionaries. Later that day I took a bus waaaay out to London Stansted airport, where I flew on RyanAir to the Shannon airport in Ireland. Why do I mention this? I'd like to give my anti-recommendation for RyanAir. Yuck. Pay for baggage, pay if baggage is over a certain very low weight, pay if you look at them funny. Plus, Stansted is in the middle of nowhere. I disliked it sufficiently that I purchased a new ticket back from Dublin to London Heathrow, on Aer Lingus.

But that's not important. Ireland is. What did I do? What did I see? Well, I took a bus to Limerick, where I met a tour group for my two-day West Coast tour. I wrote some limericks... while I was in Galway, not Limerick. They are:

This tour thing has helped me to see
I can't take the Irish seriously
Too much Father Ted
Corrupted my head
Now their accent is comic to me

and...

My heart for Celt music does long
But I have a secret so wrong
Ironic to think
That I do not drink
Yet oh how I love a good pub song!

Hmm... other interesting things...

I learned that left-handed people are considered "blessed by the faeries," and thus are exceptionally smart. Absolutely!!

I met a cute Spanish guy. He was on the two-day tour. Too bad his English wasn't better!

More... and pictures... later!

when is a cover not a cover?

2007-11-12T13:26:00.000-05:00

What are the rules on "cover" songs? 'Cuz I was watching America's Next Top Model last week (not that I watch that show) and was surprised to see that the models were part of the music video for "Enrique Iglesias' new song, 'Tired of Being Sorry.'" Whaaa...? That's not an Enrique song, that's a Ringside song!! They didn't give any credit to Ringside - no indication that it is actually a cover. And the original is so much better than that cheap, crappy imitation! Grr. I'll let you be the judge (but if you don't say Ringside, you're crazy). Here are the options:

Ringside version
Enrique version

While we're talking about music, Emily pointed out this fantastic music video for fantastic Andrew Bird's fantastic song Imitosis:

I hope he comes back to the DC area soon. I want to see him in concert again!!

Save the world. Plant a flower.

2007-11-05T23:22:00.000-05:00

Sorry. I'm going to introduce you to two addictive games. Have a good time!

First one: Bloomin' Gardens

Second one: Blow up!

Games with plots? Whatever. I <3 casual games.

The most important thing you'll learn today

2007-10-24T01:20:00.000-04:00

I'm about to tell you something that will change your life. Be prepared--this is earth-shaking. And sad... Get the kleenex. Ready? Deep breath. Here it is:

People born on February 29th will never have a golden birthday.

Okay, now that your life is altered, on to business: more trip reports! After visiting Keighley and Haworth I returned to London, where I was supposed to see a screening of the Peter Serafinowicz Show. Sadly, it was canceled. Instead, I saw Lord of the Rings, The Musical. It was pretty good... they had to cut many essential elements to make it fit within a 3-hour window. No Rohan whatsoever, no Faramir, no Helm's Deep, etc., etc. They did make a reference to Tom Bombadil. The hobbits were amusing.

Today you will learn why I typically travel alone. I suspect it has to do with some of the sites I like to see. The second day in London I visited a museum that... well... let's just say it had to do with my unique literary tastes. I happen to like dictionaries. I visited the former home of Samuel Johnson -- his primary residence while compiling the first modern English dictionary. I even bought an abridged version of the dictionary (c'mon, I already admitted that I like dictionaries. So stop laughing).

Example definitions from this 1755 dictionary:

heart-breaker: A cant name for a woman's curls, supposed to break the heart of all her lovers.

paraphernalia: Goods in the wife's disposal.

And if you have never been able to understand how the Interweb works, here is the definition of network: Any thing reticulated or decussated, at equal distances, with interstices between the intersections.

All clear now, right?

doppler effect... or not

2007-10-23T02:17:00.000-04:00

Reading my blog? Wow, you must be bored. Or boring. That's great, we have something in common!

And I can bore you further. More about my trip to the UK and Ireland!! Lucky you!

After I left Alnmouth I went to a town called Keighley (pronounced "keith-lee"), where I caught an authentic steam train -- the Keighley-Worth Valley Railway. Here's a video I took of the train:

I left the train at a small town called Haworth, which is where the Bronte sisters lived. After wandering all over the place with my luggage I finally found their family home:

If you turn your head (or monitor), you can read about the Bronte Parsonage Museum:

These are what we call "flowers":

The church next to the museum:

Next time I need a doctor, I will definitely go for one at the "Kilmeny Surgery." Many? How many?

Prior Incantato

2007-10-20T17:11:00.000-04:00

I suppose it's time to post some pictures from my trip! I flew into Heathrow, then immediately went to London, to King's Cross Station. And where does one travel from King's Cross Station? To Hogwarts, of course -- and that's exactly where I went! Well, I didn't find Platform 9 ¾, but the train from Platform 2 started me on the way to my destination of the day -- Alnwick Castle, a film site for the Harry Potter movies. After my visit to the castle (which is definitely worth a visit!) I went to Alnmouth for the night.

And for those of you who want to study at Hogwarts, check out the St. Cloud State University site...

Pictures...

A statue of Harry Hotspur:
A view of Alnwick Castle:

Another view of Alnwick Castle:

Nearby the castle:

A rainy morning in Alnmouth:

Boats generally require water:

Some of the many, many, many birds of Alnmouth:

Blocks on the beach:

Spiderwebs in the rain:

L33t Street

2007-10-18T01:58:00.000-04:00

At some point I'll have time to go on and on about my recent vacation to the UK and Ireland. For now, here is an amuse-bouche for my travel writeup. And it is all about l33tness.

A camera + a bus near Newcastle Upon Tyne + some fabulous timing resulted in this priceless picture:

That's right, kids. The moral of today's story: B1337.

Study at Hogwarts!

2007-10-08T11:19:00.000-04:00

Greetings from jolly ol' London! I'm currently on vacation. I'll post more when I return, but I just wanted to inform all of you about one interesting fact I learned. This will be especially useful for those of you trying to decide where to attend college. On Saturday I visited Alnwick Castle, where they filmed Harry Potter. You can actually attend school there--Minnesota's St. Cloud University offers a study abroad program there!

Obscure...

pulling tulips

2007-10-04T02:22:00.000-04:00

Hooray for fall television! Shows I like are back in season, and I've found a few new shows to love. So far...

Old shows:

- Heroes is off to a strong start. New twists and turns... though there are still some slightly annoying plotlines. At least we haven't had to deal with the Las Vegas psycho woman plot yet.

- Top Chef is almost over. Only a few weeks 'til Project Runway!!

- Doctor Who is almost over as well. This latest season has been EXCELLENT! What a creative show. And a hot Doctor.

- Beauty and the Geek. The geek kicked off this week was cute... he didn't even need a makeover to help him out! It's a shame he's gone.

- House? Hmmm... it doesn't seem to be improving. I'm not terribly optimistic.

- The IT Crowd, Season 2. Over already.... Alas. It was entertaining, but not as funny as Season 1. Regardless, my newly ordered DVDs are on their way. Oh, in case you haven't heard the bad news, there's a chance this show might not be recreated for the US market. Sad, isn't it?

New shows:

- PUSHING DAISIES! What a bizarre, random, hilarious show! Ever since I saw the first commercial I've been looking forward to seeing it. It lived up to my expectations. It may even have exceeded my expectations... FAAAN-tastick!

- Kid Nation - Kid logic is great. That show is highly entertaining. It's all about kids living off the land exactly as people lived in the Old West. It's true -- they have to rely on outhouses, water pumps, and microwaves. It's seriously bare bones.

- Bionic Woman - You never know with remakes, but this one looks promising.

- Life, Moonlight, and Journeyman - BOOOORING. Sorry, writers and producers, but they're complete snoozers.

off with their heads!

2007-10-03T00:14:00.000-04:00

On Saturday, Emily and I made our annual pilgrimage to Crownsville, Maryland for the Renaissance Festival. As usual, it was a great people watching opportunity. Apparently the Food Network was filming there all day. I saw some girl getting some guy's autograph, but who he was, forsooth, I knoweth not.

Here is my summary of the day in pictures... pictures of Emily, mostly. Behold:

Ye olde sword swallower:

Fair Maid Emily getteth her haire done:

Thine faire maide in a flattering pose:

Alas, poor Yorrick. I can't see thee:

Ye olde construction workers:

Emily falleth into love with ye olde blond guy while gettething henna applied to her foot:

Ye olde fancy henna application that turned out better than the henna we got in Marrakesh:

Ye olde vikings in an ancient mode of communication. And elephants, which we didn't ride (because of ye olde long line):

Ye olde sideways picture:

Henna update:

Ye olde hypnotist, leading ye olde crowde in their dramatic death scenes:

Ye olde high schooler a little bit too into this activity. Where'd his shirt go??

Ye olde Food Network person signing an autograph:

The joust:

It was very, very dusty, which looked kinda nice in the light of the setting sun:

One last henna picture:

A nearby haunted looking building. Initially we thought it was called the "Hung Young Building" (appropriate for a haunted hospital). Nay, it was just "Hugh Young." Actually, it's "Hvgh Yovng":

After the Renaissance Festival we went to Baltimore for an AMAZING Andrew Bird concert. But that's a story for another blog entry...

Rectification

2007-09-25T00:27:00.000-04:00

I like my title today. It summarizes the point I intended to make, but it also gives me an excuse to mention an upcoming TV show that sounds FASCINATING. Definitions of "rectification" (thanks, Dictionary.com!:

1. the act of rectifying, or the fact of being rectified.
2. Astrology. the method by which the known times of major events in one's life are used to determine an unknown time of birth.

My meaning? #1. But #2 reminded me that there's this up and coming fall show called "America's Psychic Challenge." That sounds entertaining. Starts on 11 October. You can also apply to be in the sequel! Maybe I should apply. I'm a psychic. I bet I can figure out what you're thinking right now. You're thinking "no, you can't." Hmm... I wonder if anyone would be offended by the fact that I don't differentiate between "psychics" and "astrologers." Probably. Sorry.

But that's not my point. Back to #1. I would like to rectify an old mistake... that mistake is called Morocco. For YEARS I wanted to go to Morocco. A year and a half ago I went there, and all I wanted to do was leave. If you like Islamic art, go to Spain, not Morocco. Seriously. So I'm trying my luck with eBay (my first auction!), trying to sell a brass lamp I purchased in the city of Fez. I rubbed it, but no genie came out. So now it's ready to find a new family for it.

Feeling charitable? Want a genie-free Moroccan lamp? Here's the auction. Help a girl out.

fish and aliens

2007-09-20T22:26:00.000-04:00

On the finale of Last Comic Standing, they counted down some of the top moments in Last Comic Standing standup. This quote of Kathleen Madigan stood out:

I don't believe in anything. Anything on A&E, Aliens, fine. I believe them. My brothers are so scientific. "Well, there's no proof." What if they're just smarter than us, and that's why we don't know they're here... Like fish don't know we're up here, but we're certainly snagging them whenever we feel like it. Every time you catch one, those other fish are swimming around going, "Hey, wait a minute... where did Bill go?" And you know when we throw Bill back, the other fish do NOT believe his story about where he was.

yer plans fer t'morrow

2007-09-19T01:35:00.000-04:00

Hooray, and dinna spare the whip! T'morrow (19th o' September) is Talk like a Buccaneer Day, Yaaarrrr! I be informing ye o' a few useful links so ye can celebrate th' day in some appropriate manner, with a chest full a' booty. Walk the plank!

First, by Blackbeard's sword, th' official talk like a pirate day web site:

http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html

What's yer buccaneer name?

http://www.piratequiz.com/

Next, I'll warrant ye, a game called Ninja Loves Pirate (let this day be a day o' truce betwixt th' pro-ninja hax0rs and th' pro-pirate hax0rs):

http://www.ninjalovespirate.com/

Ye wise professor gave an assignment t' his students t' code a program t' convert text t' buccaneer speak:

http://cs.carleton.edu/faculty/dmusican/csti07/pirate.html

And ye wise student sought help from th' online community:

cheating?? ye be th' judge

And, to be sure, th' site that helped me translate:

http://www.insanum.com/convert/

We'll keel-haul ye!

Be a sheep

2007-09-14T11:13:00.000-04:00

You have to admit, technology makes it easier to be like everyone else. In the olden days, in remote neighborhoods, you had to go out of your way to figure out what everyone else was doing. I think in those days church was the place you'd go to see the latest trends. Now you can figure out what is popular just by going to the Interweb.

But what can you trust? Google, of course! Google is all knowing. At Defcon I learned about Google Trends, which is a site that shows you the most popular search terms. You can select specific terms to see a graph of their popularity. Graphs make everything scientific and credible... or, in this case, incredible.

I have learned about all sorts of exciting things thanks to Google Trends. For example, I learned of the death of poor Alex the Parrot, an African grey parrot. ALEX apparently is an acronym for "Avian Learning EXperiment." Alex was a genius bird, and probably was smarter than most of the people you know.

Today's hottest search term (so far, but it is early) is "hectometer." Why is that a popular search term??? I suppose people are just odd. Or some rogue botnet it popularizing the term...

Aren't kids cute?

2007-09-13T03:35:00.000-04:00

This past weekend I visited my sister Melissa and her family in LA. My niece and nephew (Lauren and Robbie) are child prodigies... in sarcasm! It's great. Even my two and a half year old niece, Lauren, can dish it out. Impressive.

We were at the beach walking toward the water... I said something like, "Lauren, do you see the water?" But she didn't say, "Yes, over there," pointing to the ocean (like you'd expect a 2 1/2 year old to do). Instead, she put one hand on her hip, held the other out in an exaggerated questioning manner, then gestured back toward the sand and parking lot. "Where? Where?" she said, swinging around to point away from the ocean. "I don't see any water! What water?" Man, those moments you wish you had a video camera...

There's no doubt that she's part of our family! Our sarcasm bones develop early... :)

p.s. according to this article, kids aren't supposed to "get" sarcasm 'til they're at least 6, much less dish it out!

‫‬‭‮‪‫‬‭‮҉Happiness is...

2007-09-12T11:41:00.000-04:00

‫‬‭‮‪‫‬‭‮҉ Happiness is a unicode character that automatically makes you type backwards. Just paste this cute little character (‫‬‭‮‪‫‬‭‮҉ ) into a text box on your Web browser, and the magic can be yours!

Enjoy!

‫‬‭‮‪‫‬‭

Who wants to be a pushover?

2007-09-11T01:31:00.000-04:00

I think it's about time for a TV recap. The summer show season is ending, and the fall season is about to begin. I've noticed that a lot of the reality shows are starting to be compressed... shows that took dozens of weeks last year have shrunk to numbers of episodes you can count on only one, two, or three of your hands.

What have I been watching? Let's see...

- Who wants to be a superhero? This show scores high on the ridiculous factor... and yet I continue to watch it. Possible alternate titles include "who wants to get inside Stan Lee's head?" or "who wants to be a follower?" It's all about Stan Lee's inconsistent application of heroic logic. It doesn't matter how well you justify what you do, because if it doesn't match Stan Lee's predefined expectation, you're gone. Statements like "I'll take that into consideration" translate to "you're as good as out." Don't try to game the system, because his logic and yours probably won't match. For instance, the episode in which everyone nobly rescued the people but got yelled at for not rescuing a dog. Um, okay? Oh, and can you say PRODUCT PLACEMENT?? Sony, esurance, blah blah blah. ECW star "superhero training"??? Yech. "Wrestling, stunt fighting... it's REAL." Double yech. That's exactly what makes me annoyed with the SciFi channel. In a way, it's kind of like those model shows, where people get kicked off for things like getting hypothermia during a photo shoot in freezing cold water. "REAL models don't give up even if they're about to die." It's all about willingness to sacrifice your life for your art. See my old "fashion conspiracy" posting for more info on that.

- Movies featuring winners of Who wants to be a superhero? Those Saturday 9 pm movies also make me annoyed with the SciFi channel. Yeah, so I recorded Mega Snake, which was supposed to "feature" the winner of Who wants to be a superhero, season 1. Oh, my. Fast forward through cheese... fast forward through cheese... fast forward through cheese... I passed through the first quarter of the movie. Then the middle. Then the last... Around 7/8 of the way into the movie I saw Feedback... and his role as a public service announcement guy, telling kids about the dangers of electricity. In all, it lasted about 2 minutes. Maan, I can only imagine what Season 2's superheroes are thinking. "All that work, and THAT'S my main prize???"

- A model life. Reinforcing the stereotype that models aren't the brightest stars in the daytime sky. For example, there was the Brazilian girl who thought she might know photographer's grandmother, who lived in Brazil approx. 50 years before the model was born. "No, I don't know her." Or Michelle, when told she was going to London: "I've never been to London. I guess I'll like it. They do speak English, for most of the part, except for a few of the words." Niice. And the most model-like, Angelika, was let go for mouthing off. Yeah, she deserved it.

- The new Bravo show, Flipping Out. Very funny!! That guy is seriously messed up.

- On The Lot. Will won! Yaay! He was my favorite. Do you think the end part (him walking up to the gates of his new studio) was staged? I have a feeling it was filmed before the actual finale.

- The IT Crowd. They're already halfway through the all-too-short season!! Season 2 has been funny, but not AS funny as Season 1. I just haven't found as many quotes that I want to integrate into my everyday life... like "getting on like a big house on fire" or "you stole it? but that's stealing!!" Hmm... I wonder how the US version will turn out...

- Chuck. I saw the pilot episode on a recent United flight. My response? As Roy's shirt said during IT Crowd Season 2 Episode 3, "Meh." It reminded me a lot of Jake 2.0, except for the electronics superstore part. It just wasn't that funny... But I'll let you make your own call. I think the pilot is officially showing next Monday.

- Without prejudice. Interesting show, but it doesn't live up to its name. A group of five people decide to give $25,000 to one of another group of 5 people for pretty much whatever reason they select. Take the "without" out of the title and you get a lot of what is used in the decision-making process. It's not a bad show to have on as background noise, though...

- Doctor Who. I like this show more and more every season!! I didn't think they'd be able to find a good replacement for Rose, but I was wrong. The most recent two-part episode shown on SciFi, "Human Nature/The Family of Blood" was excellent!! And Baines (the actor also plays Will Scarlett on Robin Hood) made a fantastic psycho bloodthirsty alien. The DVD comes out in a couple months...

OK, I think that's enough TV discussion for one night!!

It's just not possible

2007-09-06T01:03:00.000-04:00

Just a quick posting to explain that I do not believe in hummingbirds. That's right. You can't convince me that they're real. Birds simply don't look like that... or move like that, for that matter. It's not possible. I think they're really puppets, or a Hollywood conspiracy, or something. There has to be another explanation.

And yet I couldn't find the puppeteer when I took these hummingbird pictures yesterday. Maybe you can see the strings in the picture. They must be there, 'cuz there's no way hummingbirds can possibly exist.

If it's on TV it must be true

2007-09-03T00:00:00.000-04:00

This evening I saw an inspiring commercial for some weight loss pill. It inspired me to laugh. It wasn't the "eat all you want and still lose weight" part that caused me to want to roll on the floor laughing. It was the next part: "We couldn't say it on TV if it wasn't true!" Riiiiight. THAT should inspire confidence in their product. As we all know, everything on TV is absolutely true. Does anyone believe otherwise?

Case in point: that SciFi channel show "Mind control with Derren Brown." Yeah, sure, you can trust it (after all, it is on TV). Just be sure you pay attention to things like shadows (especially in the episode where he was doing mind control tests on twins). That's all I'll say on that topic.

Speaking of entertaining commercials, I also have to note the latest commercials from our modern day Richard Simmons: John Basedow. First it was his "get fit" videos. Then it was the "get fit" videos with the cheesy 80s-style theme music. Now it's a triple-length symphony of cheesy music, fitness videos, and--of course--advertising for his MySpace page (which apparently features even cheesier videos of him as James Bond or something). Faaan-tastick.

One last noteworthy commercial: the one for the movie Stardust. The commercials seemed rather serious, but the movie was hilarious!! Two (or more) thumbs up, absolutely. Go see it! NOW!!

Stop Wirelifting Dead

2007-08-28T01:10:00.000-04:00

Wirelifting. You know, like shoplifting, except wireless Internet style. Do you hate it when your neighbors steal your bandwidth? Yeah, well, so does this guy. Check out his tips and tricks for discouraging neighbors from Intersquatting:

The Upside-Down-Ternet

We should build a statue in this guy's honor! Maybe in the shape of a nutria...?

The drought is over

2007-08-26T05:15:00.000-04:00

The IT Crowd, Season 2 has started! The first episode aired on BBC on Friday night. I found it here. It was pretty funny (yaay for Richmond and Moss!), but based on my calculations, the next episode will be funnier. Why, you might ask?

Well, it all started with Season 1. Episode 1, pretty funny. Episode 2, extremely funny. Episode 4, really funny. The rest were funny, but not quite as funny. Following the pattern, that means the 8th episode will be very funny. Using some really tricky math that is way too complicated to explain to mere mortals, I have concluded that this means the 2nd episode of the 2nd season will be very funny.

And yes, I hyperlinked as many things in this blog as I possibly could.

Good ol' fun

2007-08-22T23:27:00.000-04:00

This happened back in 2001, but that doesn't make it any less funny. I can just picture some young manager thinking this would be a funny joke:

"Toy yoda." And Snopes says it's true. Yay litigiousness. It reminds me of the little "I'll give you a hundred doll hairs" thing we did when we were 8 or do. Never did trick anyone with that. I wonder why not...

L33t hax0r pwned by Teen Jeopardy

2007-08-22T00:25:00.000-04:00

Well, at least he got the final answer right...

Oops. Um. Spoiler alert for your left-coast types... Sorry. (ah, well, maybe it's just a rerun anyway...?)

Map Everything!

2007-08-21T21:46:00.000-04:00

I just realized that Google Maps now allows you to embed maps in pages! Hooray! Is this new, or am I slow in finding these things? I guess they got tired of having people copy their imagery and post it to their blogs, etc.

For your entertainment, a demonstration, using the Jello Museum in Le Roy, New York as an example:

View Larger Map

How to use it: Find what you want to include in your map. Then click "Link to this page" (toward the top right of the page). Copy the link and/or HTML, and paste it into your blog, e-mail, or whatever. Note that it keeps your query terms in the link (q=blah blah blah).

While we're talking about Google Maps, check it out -- you can view imagery of Mars!
http://www.google.com/mars/

Map away!

Because privacy is overrated

2007-08-19T21:52:00.000-04:00

As soon as I saw this, it reminded me of a certain little apartment in Iasi (that's pronounced "Yash"), Romania:

http://www.voltier.com/hot/

Melissa knows what I'm talkin' about. :)

Synchronization Rocks

2007-08-17T00:48:00.000-04:00

Philippines. Prisoners + Michael Jackson = amazing choreography.

Or maybe they just have a warden who is really into dance...

Hen Lotto II

2007-08-08T02:28:00.000-04:00

I'm one of about a dozen Americans who watches the Fox show On The Lot regularly. Tonight's episode... not so hot. America somehow voted Zach Lipovsky off, to my dismay. It really should've been Jason Epperson. Oh, well. At least Will Bigham is safe. He has consistently produced the funniest videos. His film this week--Yes Men--continued the hilarity trend. (note that it's not yet available at thelot.com. I'll edit my post and add a link when it's online)

And then there was Adam Stein's video. All three of the show's judges called it out as being the most creative of the night. Um, not so much. I'll post a link to that one as well, when they update the site. I found it very similar to two of my favorite Twilight Zone episodes:

- "Five Characters in Search of an Exit": (video) a bunch of dolls who don't know they're dolls in a bucket at a yard sale of sorts.
- "Stopover in a Quiet Town": (video) a couple is kidnapped by aliens and end up inside an alien child's dollhouse.

Was it just an innocent mistake? For his sake, I hope so!

Update -- Here are the video links:

- Will's movie
- Adam's movie

OK Computer

2007-08-06T03:45:00.000-04:00

Defcon is now over. As you'd expect, the bottom line is that security is nonexistent, blatant holes are everywhere, and we should move back to paper and pencil communications (or maybe even stone tablets). The usual.

The conference was great. Here are some of the highlights of Defcon 15:

- 11 hours of classes with no breaks--yaay! Those of you who don't know me probably think, "surely she's being sarcastic." I'm not, for once. I like technology, I like classes and lectures, and I don't like breaks. I'm not just a workaholic, I'm an infoholic. If I'd taken a break, I would have missed something! I got tons of notes, too.

- The badge, as I mentioned in an earlier blog. Though sometime yesterday mine started freezing up. I noticed that the same thing was happening to other people too... I guess they followed the Microsoft model when they developed it. "Reboot required." (despite the glitch, the badge is still awesome)

- The whole issue with the NBC Dateline reporter. Yeah, I know, I talked about that already, too. It seemed to be the unintentional theme of Defcon 15.

- The poor guy in the "Hacking Social Lives: Myspace.com" (Rick Deacon's "assistant") who accidentally typed both his username and password in the login box... for a couple thousand people to see. Time to change the password for that account! And for all the other accounts that use the same password... :)

- Speaking of revealing passwords, I found the Wall of Sheep very entertaining. That's where they sniff the network for people using insecure logins for various things. They post the username and password (redacted, of course) for all to see. Hmm... searching "Wall of Sheep" on flickr led to this picture. What I actually meant was this.

- The wedding at the end of the award ceremony, for the new game, "Marry the Fed." IMHO, they should raise the bar next year by adding an extra rule: require that the two people who get married at the end of the conference must demonstrate that they were not dating at the start of Defcon. Hmm, I sense reality show material here...

- Priceless quotes (accurate? close enough). Sergey Bratus - "I developed a converter to convert Klingon to English so I could read the text of Hamlet like it was in its original Klingon." Jason Scott - "Wikipedia: It's like you built a really nice car, and then let 12-year-olds drive it into a wall repeatedly 24 hours a day."

- The TCP/IP Drinking Game was amusing. I actually knew some of the answers that the intoxicated experts didn't get (so maybe I had a sobriety advantage)...

- Entertaining shirts, various nerd slogans. "Legolas is my house elf." "Bic Pen Tester." (the latter was actually at Black Hat, not Defcon)

- The Black and White Ball. Great for people watching!

- Last, but not least, really good information. My favorites were "Aliens Cloned My Sheep," "CiscoGate," "Social Attacks on Anonymity Networks" (partly because I think Nick Matthewson has a great voice), "The Inherent Insecurity of Widgets and Gadgets" (though the speakers kept cracking jokes that the audience wasn't reacting to, like "If you're a werewolf, like I am, you probably are interested in adding a widget to tell you when the moon is full." No audience reaction.), and "Storing and Serving Malicious Content from Well Known Web Servers." I'm too tired to post recaps right now. Maybe later...

And I'll end this blog by posting a video to enlighten you on the grand beginnings of the Defcon enterprise:

Blondes are not to be trusted

2007-08-04T13:01:00.000-04:00

The big news from Defcon 15 is that an NBC Dateline reporter snuck into the conference, pretending to be "just another attendee." Apparently she was planning this big expose, trying to find some 13 year old and make him confess to breaking into the Pentagon computer with his PSP (as the Dark Tangent described it). Nice. Understandably, people were not pleased. So the Defcon organizers established a new game: Spot the Reporter!

Early in the day they showed pictures of this reporter. Eventually they outed her, and she fled from the conference. This article contains a video of what went down. Note that you can see my rental car when there are 26 seconds left in the video.

Honestly, though, I was absolutely ecstatic about this entire event from the start. First thing in the morning, they flashed this picture on the screen of a thin, pretty blonde woman and said, "Don't trust her." As a brunette woman, I was very pleased with the effect. It was as if the organizers decreed, "OK, you thousands of attractive male nerds out there... be suspicious of any pretty blonde woman you see. Blonde women can't be trusted. Go for brunettes instead." Thank you, Defcon organizers, for encouraging a healthy fear of blondes.

Now if only that could just spread a bit wider...

My Defcon 15 Badge

2007-08-03T03:50:00.000-04:00

This thing is awesome. The display starts out saying "I <3 DEFCON 15," but you can program the lights to display a <= 16 character scrolling message. Hmm. I want to figure out how to make animated characters.

Let's see... what else is on this thing?

At the bottom, on the back, it says "0100011101001111001000000101011001001111010010010100001101000101" ("GO VOICE" in ASCII).

The coordinates 42.34202 -71.069441 are at the top of the badge. According to Google, that's on Waltham Street, in Boston, MA. The closest address I can find is 44 Waltham Street, which appears to be the address of "Boston Pest"...?

Hmmm... gotta think thru this...

Update (8/4/2007):

After Kingpin's "Making of the Defcon Badge" session yesterday morning, people asked about the geocoordinates and "GO VOICE" in binary. He didn't explain the geocoordinates (said it was a part of hacker history that we should all know), but he did explain "GO VOICE." It's a tribute to the good ol' days of the Internet--after talking to someone on IRC or in your trusty BBS, you'd say "go voice" instead of "call me." Too bad; I was hoping it was something awesome like secret voice activation (visions of Denholm at the end of Yesterday's Jam run thru my mind).

No luck yet with the "hacker historical reference." I've googled names, technologies, locations... nothing. Let me know if any of you out there figure it out.

Update (8/5/2007, really, really early in the morning):

Aww, maaan, it was so obvious! I even thought of it earlier, but apparently didn't google the right things. 42.34202 -71.069441 are the geocoordinates for the old location of "l0pht heavy industries" (which later became @stake, which was even later sucked into Symantec). Kingpin, the badge designer, was in l0pht. They were located at 46 Waltham Street, Boston. I was so close!! Sorry for the delay in getting the info out. I'll do better next time, I promise.

I will add that Google Maps thinks 44 Waltham Street is at that location, not 46 Waltham Street. Bad software. Bad!! No treats for you.

Allez Fuzzing!

2007-08-03T03:25:00.000-04:00

Sadly, Black Hat 2007 is now over. My first Black Hat. I learned lots. It inspired me to become even more of a nerd than I currently am. I <3 U, technology. Here's the short version ('cuz I wanna go play with my defcon badge. more on that later):

Black Hat low points:
- The annoying "Hackistan" guy. Seriously. Obnoxious.
- Too much red meat. Three out of four lunches this week were beef. What, did the organizers think all those nerds needed to beef up a bit? Sheesh.

Black Hat high points:
- Iron Chef: Black Hat. It was by far my favorite session. It was the static exploitation tool guys versus the runtime guys. The static guys found way more vulnerabilities, but weren't able to get an exploit tool running in the allotted 45 minutes, so the runtime guys won. Awesome. I hope they bring Iron Chef back next year!
- No-Tech Hacking with Johnny Long.
- Web 2.0 is fundamentally flawed. Amazing that most fancy new sites (gmail, hotmail, and whatever else uses Ajax and authenticates up front then pushes you into an insecure session) are vulnerable--just sniff the URLs visited, pull out one with a sessionid, paste it into your browser, and you're in their account! Doesn't matter if they change their password--you're in anyway! Gmail users--turn on SSL. For other sites... well, let's just hope that talk inspired people to secure their authentication systems!
- Satellite navigation injection attacks. I'd read about this on The Register several months ago, but it was entertaining to see their demos. I love the fact that you can broadcast a message like "bullfight in progress" and have it display in the middle of a freeway or something. Oh, I mean, what a terrible vulnerability. Shocking.

Enough for now. I'll probably think of more later.

Sorry, I've gotta take this call

2007-07-27T00:04:00.000-04:00

You're out on a date. You didn't really want to go out with this person... it's mostly a pity date. You can only take so much conversation from this person.

Your phone rings. Relief!! "Sorry, I've gotta take this call." You answer.

So, who saved you? Technology! Yaay, technology. All you have to do to be saved from conversation misery is arrange to have the Popularity Dialer call at a pre-specified time.

That's even more useful than the Rejection Hotline. Hmm, that reminds me... I may need to bring that number with me on this upcoming trip...

Order v. Chaos

2007-07-25T02:01:00.000-04:00

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as Margaret Wolfe Hungerford wrote. So today is all about art. The problem is that I can't decide which type of artwork I like best: order or chaos. Order? Islamic art, aka geometric art. Chaos? Fractals, aka nerd art.

Let's see what you think.

Geometric design #1

Fractal #1

Geometric design #2

Fractal #2

Geometric design #3

Fractal #3

Geometric design #4

Fractal #4

Geometric design #5

Fractal #5

So... which is better? Order or chaos?

Find True Love

2007-07-19T23:43:00.000-04:00

I have discovered the secret to a happy and fulfilled life. And I have Google to thank! I wish I had known years ago what I know now. The secret is Google Maps. It will show you where you can find any of mankind's greatest desires. It's true! Here's what I get in my search for items on my wish list (and a few on the "avoid" list):

- Men: Brenoux Station, France
- True Love: Akron, Ohio
- Prince Charming: Amsterdam, Netherlands
- Power: Pagosa Springs, CO
- Fortune: Arkansas
- Happiness: Memphis, TN
- Wisdom: Montana
- Chivalry: Surrey, UK
- Life: Henderson County, TN
- Jealousy: US Virgin Islands
- Sadness: Knoxville, IA

Hmmm...

Hen Lotto

2007-07-18T01:38:00.000-04:00

It's that time. Time for a recap of current TV shows! Yaay! These are the ones I consider noteworthy right now:

- Food shows. Three of them, to be exact. The Monday night boring pointless yelling one on Fox, and then the two I like. Let's contrast them. Next Food Network Star ends on Sunday night. I'm all for having guys pluck unruly eyebrows, but this guy is outta control. Put the tweezers away! Oh, right--the show. I'd prefer to have Amy win. In contrast, there's Top Chef, featuring this season's TALL GUY. Best line:

Guest Chef Judge: Wow, you're really tall.
CJ: Thanks for noticing.

- On The Lot. It's an anagram for Hen Lotto. Despite my Hollywood brother-in-law's feelings on the show, I've found the show to be entertaining. I like Will and Zach best. And I can't believe America has already voted all the girls off! Anyway, these are the films I've liked the best:

* Lucky Penny
* Nerve Endings
* Die Hardly Working
* Spaghetti
* Polished
* Dough: The Musical
* Danger Zone
* Worldly Possessions
* Broken Pipe Dreams
* Dr. In-Law

- Pirate Master. It's an okay show. They do have some interesting strategery going on. For instance, the current captain magically acquired a really fake British accent as soon as he put on his captain's jacket and hat. Plus they've already kicked off all the hot guys. Shame. UPDATE: I like the twist they added in today's episode, because it negated a significant portion of the strategery used by the captain and his mates. They brought back the eliminated players as "ghost pirates," and raced them for the treasure. Considering that they've been eliminating all the people they determined were their strongest competition, they've ended up creating quite a competition for themselves. Hmm, the show may be getting more interesting...

- Last Comic Standing, the International Version. Best line so far, from the Sydney tryouts:

I was watching a DVD the other day, and it had all this anti-piracy information at the beginning of it, you know? It was saying things like, “You wouldn’t steal a car, would you? You wouldn’t steal someone’s wallet, would you?” And I was thinking, “You know, that’s right! I wouldn’t steal a car.” But you know, if a mate of mine called me up and said, “Hey, I just got this new car, would you like me to burn you a copy??” I reckon I might consider it...

- Doctor Who. Creative as always. And, thankfully, I do like his new companion! Better than Rose? We'll see...

- Psych. It's back on! Hooray!

- Eureka. Nerd humor. Ridiculous and infeasible, but typically entertaining.

- Just for Laughs. I'm not impressed. It's an identical copy of the Just for Laughs that they show on BBC America periodically (though I think the show is originally Canadian).

- I almost forgot: Traveler! I watched the first few episodes of this show. It was painfully boring. Dumb plot line, and the frat boy main characters aren't interesting or cute. Even the dark haired blue eyed one (my favorite combination) isn't that attractive, with his googly eyes and perpetual confusedness. The show is now on my "please cancel" list. I never had a "please cancel" list before now.

Things that will be on soon:

- Dressed Up Crazy People and a Cheesy Host. Last season prompted much eye rolling. I haven't decided whether I'm going to watch this one yet.

- The IT Crowd. I love this show enough that I'm kinda expecting a disappointment. They're recycling British Moss. I wonder if he'll use an American accent for the show, like House. I bet his unique fashion sense will overtake the US IT community. Heck, it even makes ME want to wear a short sleeved checkered shirt with an ugly tie!

And I'll end on an IT crowd note. This is one of the reasons I love the show:

sudo this, sudo that.

2007-07-16T03:15:00.000-04:00

Last week I bought a new computer. It's a fantastic laptop. OK, it's a laptop, but it's not fantastic. It was the cheapest one I could find. It doesn't actually have the minimum requirements to run Vista, but it came with Vista pre-installed. So the first thing I did was wipe the hard drive and install Linux (Ubuntu, since it has a pretty solid user base).

I'm now remembering why I stopped using Linux a few years ago. I like the open source movement and all, but I have to admit that I really like the fact that most hardware is automatically supported in Windows. And most software is easier to install on Windows. Under Linux, it's sudo everything. It took two days and a whole bunch of Googling, trial and error (mostly error), and vi under text mode, just to get the OS to recognize the cheap video drivers (sort of) and display at something other than 800 x 600. I probably should have written down which site had the instructions that finally worked. And if you want to run Java in Firefox on Ubuntu, I strongly recommend totally ignoring Sun's installation instructions and going directly to the Ubuntu user forums. Oh, and some network TV stations' online video options are only available to Windows or Mac users. Grr, so I still can't watch the "last" two episodes of Drive!

The trials of Linux. But at least this laptop runs faster than my other computer...

Like watching a real episode of House!

2007-07-13T22:15:00.000-04:00

It's all there.

What's your candy preference?

2007-07-13T11:59:00.000-04:00

Now's your chance to have your say. Vote for your favorite candy at the "Tourney of Sweets" on greaze.org!

OK, now I need to go to work.

Song of the Day

2007-07-13T00:35:00.000-04:00

Plain White T's - Hate (I Really Don't Like You)

(posted for contrast. I like this song better.)

What will it cost you?

2007-07-10T02:19:00.000-04:00

This will likely inspire you to do some shopping:

Please Help Save Emily

2007-07-09T22:05:00.000-04:00

One day last week I saw a commercial for the local 11:00 news. They were talking about a new not-quite-official-yet disorder, known as Adult Picky Eating Disorder. After the 10 second clip and basically no additional background research, I have decided that my sister Emily must suffer from this. When she lived with me, the freezer was always stocked up with Smart Ones brand Three Cheese Ziti Marinara, and not much else.

Wondering how you can help expand her culinary horizons? I'm accepting donations. Simply send me a small donation (something ending in at least two 0s, on the left side of the decimal point) and I will do my best to encourage her to eat a wider variety of food. I plan to model her new taste in gourmet foods based on the culinary travels of Andrew Zimmern. I can't wait to see the look on her face when she tries mangrove worms or tripe soup for the first time. She'll love it. And she'll love us for encouraging her to try new things. It's all about being charitable.

Need help with your math homework?

2007-07-01T13:22:00.000-04:00

Free tutoring over the phone!

Chicken!

2007-06-30T05:30:00.000-04:00

Ponder on those mostly-flightless birds.

Video #1: Chickens, flash mob style.

Video #2: Whatever you do, keep the chickens HAPPY.

Hmm... maybe I need more sleep!

How much coincidence is too much coincidence?

2007-06-29T21:57:00.000-04:00

A few days ago I had a very odd experience. I was driving home from work in my new car, and looked over at a car in the lane next to me. "Wow, that looks like my old car." It passed me. I noted the old Riverhouse and GWU stickers in the rear window. "Wow. That IS my old car!!" The car ended up driving directly in front of me for a while. Then it made the same turn as me... And then it turned into the same complex as me! Given that I've seen the car parked here since then, it appears that my old car just happens to have been sold to some guy who lives in this same place. I guess that means the dealership fixed the car, rather than selling it for parts...

Weird, though. My old car is haunting me!

A string of pearls. Or a string in Perl?

2007-06-27T01:10:00.000-04:00

Last week I went to Chicago for a class on Perl (that's Practical Extraction and Report Language). Interestingly, it turned out to be the most useful class I've taken in the past 5 or so years. I only wish I'd learned Perl sooner--I can think of all too many occasions when it would have come in very handy.

I found Perl to be a surprisingly intuitive scripting language. No need to mess with variable types or pre-defined parameter passing. I now know it's a language for people like me. As the instructor kept saying, "We are lazy. We're Perl programmers." Shortcuts everywhere! What started out as bunches of lines of code could always be reduced to something like:

while(<>) {
print;
}

That's a perfectly legitimate and complete script, fyi. $_ rocks. Plus, Perl has great concepts like chomping, slurping, slices, and "anonymous arrays." On some level it made me worry that I'll have to develop an appreciation for carbonated beverages (yuck) and junk food (okay, so I already have that appreciation) to understand the language at a deeper level.

Can't wait to put this dangerous knowledge to good use... :)

A good reason to be crabby

2007-06-18T00:50:00.000-04:00

Imagine you're sitting on the beach, or maybe in the water, enjoying a nice chicken meal. Suddenly someone swoops down, throws you into some uncomfortable container, and drags you into the kitchen to become their dinner. Kind of a morbid thought, eh? Well, that's precisely what we did to a dozen or so Maryland blue crabs this weekend.

I spent the weekend in Maryland with assorted family members. We were on the Eastern Shore of the Chesapeake, staying in a house designed by (and formerly inhabited by) famous architect Arthur Cotton Moore. Hmmm... why do I always want to add "Sir" before his name? Anyway, he is known for his "industrial baroque" style. He was the brains behind renovations of such Washington D.C. buildings as the Old Post Office Building and the Library of Congress. His house, described in 2005 by the Washington Post as a "stainless steel mansion," is a very distinctive waterfront property. Here are some pictures:

It's supposed to be hurricane-proof due to the shape of the roof. It is not, however, flood-proof.
This is the view from inside the main house:

I stayed in this building, which used to be the studio. Think of it as something more like the "servants' quarters" now.

Lots of wildlife in the area. Good sunset views as well. Examples:

Yes, deer.

Duck, duck, goose.

Very patriotic.

Check out those eyes.

Column of geese.

Just before the sun sets.

Just after the sun sets.

And then there was the blue crab experience. Maryland blue crabs like to eat chicken necks. Ultra fresh blue crabs taste great. Here is the complete traumatizing experience:

All she wanted to do was smash the crabs with her mallet:

Lesson learned: despite the fact that it made for a good meal, I still prefer living in a world of denial, in which I eat meat that doesn't look like the animal it came from...

In other news, I bought an orchid at the farmers market in St. Michaels. I keep wanting to refer to it as a fern. Hmm... perhaps I should name my orchid Fern to reduce future confusion. Do people name their plants? Whatever. This is Fern, the Orchid:

Vegemite. Or vegemite not.

2007-06-15T00:55:00.000-04:00

Five pictorial reasons Australia is worth the long flights down under:

Reason #5: The landscape

Is it a forest fire? No, it's an amazing sunset!

Misty scene from a moving car. Grr, stupid power lines through the picture! Can you believe we drove from Canberra to Sydney?!

The man-made landscape isn't bad either!

Reason #4: The jumping marsupials

Kangaroos are delicious.

Reason #3: The opportunity to visit my niece and nephew on the way

Aren't they cute?

Plus I got this interesting picture just before the plane landed in LA:

Reason #2: The food

I do all my breakfast cereal shopping in Australia now. You can buy Weet-Bix in the US, but not Fruity Weet-Bix.

Australian snack foods are better than American snack foods. Hooray for hazelnuts and blackcurrants! Um, not necessarily together... Though I must say, I don't know why Australians have such strong opinions on Starburst candies!

Australian candies are very different than Swedish candies, which tell you what ISN'T inside. For instance, this is apparently not chocolate.

Reason #1: The birds

This kookaburra seemed totally uninterested in us.

I love sulphur-crested cockatoos.

Have I mentioned that I like sulphur-crested cockatoos?

Sulphur-crested cockatoos... they have such personality. I'd get one if they weren't so darn loud!

This is not an ugly duckling.

Things around town

2007-06-12T02:15:00.000-04:00

Apparently the Kennedy Center is attempting to attract a different sort of subscriber: Young nerds. Fascinating. Even more fascinating that I really want to attend both of these events. See here:

- Event #1: The Tiny Ninja Theater performs Shakespeare, on the Millenium Stage. Today and tomorrow it's Macbeth, and Wednesday and Thursday it's Romeo and Juliet. Looks like I'm going tomorrow. What is Tiny Ninja Theater? Oh, just check the hyperlink. You can't expect me to waste my time retyping it all!

- Event #2: National Symphony Orchestra: Video Games Live. That's right -- they're performing theme songs from famous video games!! I really have to go to this. Why is it so hard to find someone who wants to go with me?? Oh, yeah... high nerd factor.

BTW, a note to those people who call themselves my friends and family. Why didn't anyone tell me there was a pirate reality tv show?? SOMEONE must have come across it. Thanks a lot. Good thing my DVR and I happened upon it. Imagine the sorrow if I had missed the entire season. That reminds me... I still haven't seen Pirates of the Caribbean III. My sad life...

A word of advice

2007-06-11T03:55:00.000-04:00

Don't schedule travel that takes you across the International Date Line on your birthday. It makes for a long and very boring day (20+ hours of air travel!).

What was I thinking?? I could easily have spent one more day in beautiful Australia!

More later... :)

Rudolph the Red Nosed Main Dish

2007-06-01T01:02:00.000-04:00

In my job, I have learned the importance of addressing key points and main themes right at the beginning of whatever I'm writing. For that reason, I have decided to bury my explanation of the title of this blog deep within the text.

OK, on to the important stuff: highlights of this latest trip to Denmark and Sweden. Complete with pictures. My hotel was just around the corner from Nyhavn, which is this lovely area:

We visited Tivoli Gardens a few times. It's mostly an amusement park, but the "Gardens" part is an accurate descriptor. Here are some flower samples.

I've never seen tulips like this before:

More tulips:

And for some reason I kinda like the perspective on this one:

I opted not to ride on the crazy "world's tallest carousel":

On this trip, I learned that Danes have unusual pets. For instance, this woman appeared to be walking a mouse. Whatever it was, it was about an inch tall. Oops, forgot to use the metric system. Whatever it was, it was about 2.5 cm tall.

I got a good pastry shop recommendation. If you want excellent danishes, try Lagkagehuset:

This part is the explanation of the subject line. You will find that Santa won't be bringing me any gifts this year. I can forget about even getting coal or other less attractive gifts with possible market resale value; after this, I think he may have put a hit out on me. Why? Well, we ended up having dinner one night at a restaurant that served grilled reindeer. I ordered it, and it was REALLY GOOD. Who knew!! I don't know why Santa bothers to keep the reindeer around anyway. He should be serving them for dinner, not flying with them!

Moving on, I spent part of one of my days in Sweden, where I visited Lund (a university city) and Malmö. Through postcards in those fine cities I learned psychically that my sister Emily is destined to marry the Prince of Sweden. I mean, really, how could she refuse?

The Cathedral in Lund had this amazing 14th century astronomic clock:

I squandered most of my time in Lund because I had this craving for Swedish meatballs. Seriously, how can you visit Sweden without having Swedish meatballs? The restaurant menus were all in Swedish, and I was feeling introverted, so I ended up ordering my fine meal in a local 7-11. The guy behind the counter heated my fine Swedish meatballs and mashed potatoes in the microwave, then added what turned out to be a delicious lingonberry sauce. I couldn't find a place to sit to eat my gourmet meal, and it had started raining. I wandered over to the main square, where some sort of peaceful protest in honor of the Palestinian/Serbian/Tibetan/other misc separatist movements was taking place. I ended up on a bench that turned out to be right by the very animated speakers, and there I sat, shoveling down the food so I'd have sufficient time to catch the bus.

In Malmö I did a whole bunch of walking. I also made a stop at the local H&M. It's a Swedish chain, so how could I not do my shopping there? If I had seen an Ikea, I would have purchased a souvenir lamp or bed or something. Good thing I didn't come across any. Malmö also has a number of odd statues, such as:

or:

Eventually we crossed the Øresund Bridge, and the trip (and depressing stories about bloody conflicts between Swedes and Danes) ended. This is the bridge:

When we got back, I contemplated having a little bit of (nerd warning) Foo-cacia, but ultimately returned to the hotel.

On my last day in Denmark I spent the day collecting photographs. For instance...

...the great dragon statue thingie on a building:

...a better picture of my beloved "Students Swapping Signs" drawing:

...a picture of the former engagement ring that Søren Kierkegaard had given to Regine Olsen.

I didn't get any good pictures of the ring last time I was there. I do have to correct the record, though. Here's the "correct" story of the ring:

In closing, I just want to say that I love lilacs. There were lots and lots of lilacs in Denmark and Sweden. Lovely...

The end.

A Tribute to Innovation

2007-05-29T22:01:00.000-04:00

Way back when (aka April 2006) a few family members and I visited my brother during his semester abroad in Spain--his extremely trying last semester of law school. One important discovery we made there was a fast food chain that sold "pizza cones." What a fantastic idea! I am always impressed with people who are able to take what is ordinarily not finger food and turn it into something transportable. Pizza you can eat with your hands. Who would have thought.

Anyway, I was not the only one whose creative juices began flowing. This caused my sister's innovative side to emerge. She still talks about starting a rival chain here in the US. She would stick with the Italian theme, and create the world's first Lasagna Cone! Genius. Pure genius.

Shoot, I gave her secret away. Sorry, Emily!!

Stand alone and greet the coming night

2007-05-28T22:10:00.000-04:00

Here I am, back from another trip. I returned this afternoon from Denmark (plus a side trip to Sweden this time -- where, sadly, no one sounded like this). More on that trip later.

Not long before this trip I brought a new toy -- my Microsoft-produced Zune (competition to the ipod). What, you might ask, possessed me to purchase such a device? Well, I wanted a music player, but my new car apparently is not compatible with the ipod. Plus, just about everyone I know curses their ipod regularly. The device came in handy... I ended up watching all of Season 1 of The IT Crowd while I was stuck for six hours in Frankfurt, Germany. I've vented enough about that unexpected layover, and will refrain from boring you with that story...

In preparation for my trip I decided to get a few new songs. I found out about an eMusic "download 35 songs free" offer and decided to test it out. Unfortunately, they didn't have many of the songs I was seeking. I ended up rather arbitrarily picking out songs in the alternative, math rock, and goth genres.

Anyway, here are the songs I listened to most during the trip--some of which were new eMusic acquisitions, and others were not:

- Juliet, by Emilie Autumn. Goth/industrial/electronica. I like. I like much.

- Imitosis, by Andrew Bird. Alternative/Rock/Indie. I picked his album for the cover, of course. My goodness, I'm predictable. Anyway, I like this song despite its use of the word "machinations," which is one of my least favorite words ever. Whenever I read a paper containing that word, it undercuts the author's credibility by approximately 64.3%. And that's on a good day. Despite that, the song is excellent. You can listen to the song on his myspace page. Grr, I apparently just missed his 9:30 Club concert! Oh, also, the singer appears to be a thinner version of Dr. Who.

- Hey There Delilah, by the Plain White T's. Alternative/Rock/Indie. I actually heard this song on on the radio (it seems to get some late night "new music" play, at least), and decided to follow up. This song, as well as Hate (which I think is an amazingly entertaining song!!), is on their myspace page.

- Tired of Being Sorry, by Ringside. I wish they'd play more concerts. This is such a great song. And it doesn't hurt that the singer is HOT. Though I still don't understand why the video is about him getting beat up by a girl.

- Caramel, by Suzanne Vega - Good song. I can't find it now, but I swear I first heard this song in a trailer for the movie Closer. Not that I ever saw the movie... but I always have that association.

- The Mating Game, by Bitter:Sweet - Interestingly, this is one of the default songs on the factory-fresh Zune device. But if you like it, you have to download it later, 'cuz MS deletes it when they upgrade your firmware. This one is also available on the group's myspace page.

- The Last Remaining Light, by Audioslave. I've had this song (and album) forever, but for whatever reason, it regained my attention during my trip.

Last, but not least:

- The System is Down, by Homestarrunner. I have no idea why I have this, nor why it kept coming up. But it's kind of amusing...

Say what?

2007-05-16T23:56:00.000-04:00

To demonstrate what a fun and exciting person I am, I'm going to give you a list of my favorite words, complete with hyperlinks to random and totally unrelated tidbits.

Words:

Archipelago
Reticent
Indigenous
Vestige
Haberdashery

Best. Headline. Ever.

2007-05-12T05:30:00.000-04:00

Here it is:

Skywalkers in Korea cross Han solo

Whoever came up with that headline deserves some sort of prize. Do they award prizes for amazing headlines?

Penguin Thievery

2007-05-11T12:00:00.000-04:00

Despite the fact that this story has been proved to be a myth, I still find it amusing (indeed, fiction is allowed to be funny). Penguin thievery. But stories like these have their impacts: people apparently are calling a zoo in Utah and accusing them of harboring the stowaway penguin from the story. Stories that sound too good to be true (and that are full of plot holes and improbabilities) probably aren't true. Ah, well, you can still look at pictures of penguins on this penguin blog. Penguins are all the rage.

And here is xkcd.com's view of Snopes (the urban legend and myth debunking site):

People who have way more time than me

2007-05-07T12:12:00.000-04:00

Wow. It must take a lot of time to do things like this:

Your looks rock!

2007-05-06T02:18:00.000-04:00

This almost makes me want to sign up for a Facebook account! Or play the recorder. I can't decide.

These guys iz funny! Check out the Encyclopedia Rap. Or Pimp My Stroller.

Emily insists that I have to relate the full tale of the blog title. It all started many days ago. No, wait, it was Thursday. Emily's birthday. We went to Carrabba's for dinner. We had the same waiter that we had last time we ate there. Note, of course, that last time he gave us free ice cream for no apparent reason. No such luck this time around... he rushed us through our meal, and took my dinner away to box it up when I was pretty much still eating. It was fun. I suggested that perhaps the rush and lack of free sugar was because Emily was less attractive this time than the last visit. For some reason, she didn't like that possibility. To console her, I said, "your looks rock!" And now it's the title.

Rejoice, and show mirth, for behold, ye are now in on the inside joke.

Caving under the peer pressure

2007-05-04T22:48:00.000-04:00

My brother-in-law, Rob, is currently working on the movie The Golden Compass (scheduled for release in December). Apparently everyone has their daemons. And mine is an osprey. I am now going to do exactly what my other blogging family members have done--except Melissa, but she'll cave soon--and let you check whether I correctly assessed my daemon, or whether you see me differently.

This one is nice, and does convince me that the movie is worth checking out (and not just to see Rob's name in lights). Even so, my favorite personality identifying site is still kingdomality.com. According to that, my medieval career would have been as the evil prime minister. Mwahahaha.

TV show props

2007-04-30T00:17:00.000-04:00

Amazing what you find if you look closely...

Example.

Incidentally, try typing the following text into MS Word:

=rand(3,4)

Then press enter. It'll automatically insert the text "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." You can change the numbers around. One represents the number of sentences per paragraph, and the other represents the number of paragraphs. Hours of non-stop entertainment.

If Earth is too boring for you

2007-04-25T02:16:00.000-04:00

Start celebrating! Apparently scientist have found a "potentially habitable planet." And it's only 120 trillion miles away (approx. 20 light years)! Start saving those frequent flier miles--you may be able to earn a free trip!

That planet's sun is called Gliese 581. Why don't we have a name for our sun? It seems unfair that we don't. We're just a really boring solar system. Our planets have great names like Pluto, and the planets have cool moon names like Io (which, incidentally, is the only natural satellite with acne). But we have no name for our sun... or moon, for that matter. Someone come up with a name!

I'll always love this next song. I discovered it while avoiding studying for a freshman year astronomy class.

Cake decorating

2007-04-21T15:40:00.000-04:00

My sister wants to be a cake decorator. If I'm lucky, when I get married she'll make me a fancy wedding cake. Perhaps I'll be very lucky, and she'll make one like this:

If you like that, you'll love some of the other Russian fancy cakes.

If you're not into cakes, the site also features Russian UFOs. Take your pick.

For Nerds' Eyes Only

2007-04-18T19:12:00.000-04:00

Sorry, non-nerds out there. You might not be able to comprehend the vast amount of humor in this posting. Maybe next time I'll say something about TV shows or something more widely understood by mainstream America. Maybe.

But today it's tech humor. Yaay!

Part 1: A Joke.

Years ago, when Apple first came out with their text-to-speech applications, two computer guys decided to use it to settle a score: the pronunciation of the name of a popular Unix text editor. The application is called vi. One guy said, "It's pronounced 'vye,' and rhymes with 'sky' or 'bye.'" The other guy disagreed, saying, "you just say Vee Eye -- it's just the names of the letters, it's not a word."

So into the talking computer application 'vi' went. And it said...

"SIX."

(get it? vi = roman numeral 6. oh, never mind.)

Part 2: Chaos Theory.

This picture demonstrates how not to set up your network. Yikes.

Part 3: Toys.

Specifically, USB toys. (fine, and some funny USB storage devices)

- You've heard of thumb drives, right? But you probably didn't think there was a real THUMB drive, did you?
- I don't know what to say about this digital storage device.
- This is arguably old technology (4 years -- that's ancient in computer terms), but it's still clever. It's a USB-powered rice noodle strainer.
- Everyone needs one of these. It's a USB-powered hamster wheel.
- If you're a workaholic (like me), you shovel your lunch down at your desk. Dropping too many crumbs into your keyboard? Clearly you need a USB-enabled duck-shaped vacuum cleaner. Why don't I have one of these?
-Have you declared war on your cubicle neighbors? It's your civic duty. Surprise them with a USB cannon, then beat them down with a USB-powered rocket launcher.

Who comes up with this stuff??

Reasonably useless information

2007-04-16T03:59:00.000-04:00

Every now and then various family members pass on relatively interesting pieces of information. Here are some fine examples:

From my brother:
Can't decide where to eat lunch? Spin the Wheel of Lunch. You can even run such queries as (your zip code) and "Thai," and it'll limit your options to Thai restaurants in the area. If you want details, read the explanation.

From my mother:
Go to google maps. Click on "get directions." Ask for directions from New York to Paris. Scroll down to Direction #23 or so.

From my sister (The Conqueror):
A new TV show! It's called Robin Hood, and it's on BBC America. It's about Robin Hood (did you not guess that already?). I discover many good shows on BBC America. Examples: Look Around You. My Hero. Shakespeare Retold. And I'm sure there are others.

Hope is not a strategy

2007-04-14T11:55:00.000-04:00

Neither is turning a mysterious ticking noise into a song. But it does result in an entertaining video!

A is for Average, F is for Fantastic

2007-04-11T17:05:00.007-04:00

Today's posting is all about Easter Eggs. This weekend my sister and I decorated eggs with two very young cousins. Let's see if you can tell from the following picture which eggs were decorated and/or cracked by our cousins and which were decorated by us.

My aunt came up with this very effective trick for adding designs: dye + glue gun + more dye. Nice.

Not into food art? Well, there is another other kind of easter egg -- hidden stuff in computer programs! Unfortunately, it seems this is a dying (no, not dyeing) art--too many companies fear risks added by undocumented code. But back when I taught MS Office classes to pay my way through college, I found that the easter egg discussions (for instance, I pointed out an old version of Excel's Spy Hunter and the MS Access Magic 8 Ball, among others) were the only times when students paid attention.

Ah, the days when you could ctrl-shift-f into Netscape's fishcam... or go to about:mozilla in Firefox for a funny message. Oh, wait, I think those still work (assuming you're using the right browsers).

Looking for others? The eeggs.com archive might be worth a visit.

UPDATE: For some bizarre reason, this has turned out to be my most popular blog entry of all time. Not this quality posting or this controversial topic, but this teensy little entry on Easter Eggs. Huh. You just can't predict these sorts of things.

Anyway, I thought I'd reward the adoring public by giving even MORE information on the creative egg decorating technique displayed in the not so hot picture that probably brought you to this page. I don't know if my aunt made this up, or if she got the idea from an egg decorating book/magazine article/voices in her head... whatever the source, this is a fun and easy technique. (caution--this involves the use of a glue gun, which may not be safe or appropriate for young kids). Steps:

- Take a hard boiled egg, then dye it the color of of your choice. Or skip the pre-dye phase and move directly to the next step...
- Using a glue gun, decorate the egg. If you use one of those mini glue guns you can get a fairly high degree of detail in your design. Wavy lines, squiggly lines, little teensy circles... so many options! But be careful not to burn yourself!
- After the glue dries (which shouldn't take long), put the egg into a second color of dye for a few minutes.
- When you're satisfied with the updated color of the egg, remove it from the dye. Dry it off, then peel off the dried glue. Voila! A beautiful and unique egg design!

Enjoy! :)

Good Idea, Bad Idea

2007-04-05T01:15:00.000-04:00

Did you ever watch Animaniacs? If so, you likely saw some of Mr. Skullhead's "Good Idea/Bad Idea" segments. I couldn't find a video of the one I remember most (good idea: feeding stray kittens in the park; bad idea: feeding stray kittens in the park to a bear.), but I do think this one is entertaining.

And now, a real life "Good Idea/Bad Idea":

Good idea: Attend a calm, relaxing hockey game with friends.

Bad idea: Play a game of "extreme underwater ice hockey" with friends.

Near freezing temperatures. Underwater. No oxygen tanks. Insanity!!

Do you feel pretty?

2007-04-02T01:35:00.000-04:00

In honor of April Fool's Day, I'd like to dedicate today's posting to the world's longest running practical joke: the fashion industry! We've all been trained to think that some bizarre things are normal and even attractive. For example, take high heels. Ouch! Far from functional. But I still look at some pairs of heels and think, "Cute! Must buy!" Fashion is illogical.

And then we get to the practical joke part. If you are a fan of America's Next Top Model or Project Runway or other fashion-related shows, pay attention to the designers... and the irony. What were these designers like when they were young? Many, like Project Runway Season 1 winner Jay McCarroll, admit to being considered unpopular and "weird" in their youth.

Now, remind me... who was it in high school that had to run out and buy the latest fashions, or get the amazing trendy hairstyles? Ah, yes, the school's upper castes. And who did they shun? Oh, that's right--those people who are now playing an integral role in determining what today's fashionable elite have to run out and buy. Does anyone else see a conflict there? Are the former socially oppressed fighting back? It would explain some of those bizarre trends...

I can just see it -- when a former social outcast is inducted into the fashion industry, they enter into a fashion secret society. They conspire to make people--especially those who mocked
them in their youth--look as ridiculous as possible.

If my calculations are correct, this secret society has existed for centuries. How else can you explain some of the horrifying style trends that have existed throughout history? Clearly, someone wanted all these people to pay dearly for their perceived superiority. They succeeded--and are continuing in that fine tradition.

Examples that support my theory:

Whatever you do, don't go swimming in these high fashion items

Why 18th century palace doors are wide

20th century fashion

Animal print

Big hair

Military uniforms!? (if you visit the Tower of London, you'll see that they still dress like this)

And clearly, someone has it in for fashion models

If you wonder what you're supposed to wear now, there are some interesting trends headed our way. Yikes. Incidentally, I've found it interesting that the survivors in Lost are way more in fashion than I am (not to imply that I'm trying hard to follow trends)... note that they're stuck on an island, and I think it's still 2004 in their world!

Keep in mind that I posted this revealing information at great risk to my personal style. I can imagine some of the threats that may be directed my way by those involved in the fashion conspiracy... threats of future bad haircuts and potential banishment to SO-not-in-season sales racks. How shall I endure?

Time has a way of changing things

2007-04-01T03:16:00.000-04:00

Welcome to the new home of my blog! Until today, I was using the built-in blog feature within MySpace. But now it's time for me to have a REAL blog (which this is supposed to be). I prefer not to become a blog transient; hopefully there will be no need to move again.

Just for fun, I imported all my old MySpace blog postings to this site.

Preview of things to come:
Tune in here tomorrow, as I plan to reveal the shocking truth about why a nerd like me would watch fashion-centric shows such as Ugly Betty, America's Next Top Model, and Instant Beauty Pageant. Admit it -- you're dying to know why!

Assorted and Sundry Unidentified Flying Objects

2007-03-29T01:21:00.001-04:00

As I was sitting in front of my computer munching on the wrapper of the Baby Ruth candy bar I recently ate (grr, I want this kitchen remodeling* to end so I can eat normal food!), I decided to put my New Mexico pictures onto my computer. Incidentally, I've purchased a new digital camera since my old one kicked the bucket a few weeks ago. Anyway, among the pictures of striking desert landscapes, sunsets, roadrunners, and petroglyphs (ancient graffiti) I was amazed to find a remarkable picture of an Unidentified Flying Object** floating above the Sandia Mountains. Seriously! Check the UFO out:

I suppose Albuquerque is only a few hours away from Roswell...

And that isn't my only UFO picture for the day. Fun person that I am, I was staring out the window onto the balcony this afternoon, when I noticed an odd spot on the window. I thought, "wow, that almost looks like the outline of a bird!" I looked more closely... wings, body (with complete feather outlines), head, beak... oh, my; it IS a bird! As far as I can tell, some poor unsuspecting pigeon decided that it wanted to break in, only to be greeted by the harsh reality of sliding glass doors. Given that I found no dead bird on my balcony, I think it survived the impact. Why it left a complete bird imprint behind, I have no idea. Here's the result of my attempt to photograph the bird outline.

* As is to be expected, the kitchen renovations are taking much longer than I'd expected. Delays, delays, delays. I have new appliances, cabinets, and a floor, but no countertop or sink, and some drywall still needs to go in. Estimated completion: 9 April! Ack. I've learned the hard way that Rule #1 of remodeling is: "Your place is fine the way it is; don't change a thing!"

** Cynical? Yes, there is a very simple, very rational explanation. No, it does not involve me doctoring the photo in any way. No clouds either. You must figure it out yourselves.

Fascinating things about fascinating things

2007-03-27T00:50:00.000-04:00

Tonight you shall learn that I am in the habit of watching excessive amounts of television. When I was young, I read a lot. Now that I'm older and my brain is deader I'm more able to focus on pictures of reality generated by someone else's imagination.

I'm assuming that you don't watch all of the same shows as me. As a result, I'm going to provide summaries of some of the shows I watch.

*important disclaimer*
If I ever recommend a TV show, movie, or book, you may want to ask me whether I like the TV show, movie or book, or if I like the IDEA of the TV show, movie, or book. It is an important distinction. For example, I recommended Max Barry's book Jennifer Government to a few people because it is the philosophical antithesis of Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged (which, incidentally, I thought was a dumb book. If I'm really bored one of these days I'll give you the joy of a book report--maybe even comparing and contrasting the "dangers of extreme capitalism" book with the "dangers of extreme socialism" book. What a treat that will be.). After taking me up on my recommendation, someone asked if I really enjoyed the book. I had to think about it for a minute. Realistically, the plot was weak, and by the ending it all sort of fell apart. But I was so intrigued with the IDEA of the book--and, in particular, the contrast with Ayn Rand's "masterpiece"--that I had forgotten that I didn't even like it that much.
*end important disclaimer*

Now that you've endured my warning, you get to the good part. Here's more than you ever needed to know about the TV shows I watch:

- Lost - My sister and I watched all of Seasons 1 and 2 over Columbus Day weekend (a.k.a. Indigenous People's Day, in selected parts of California; a.k.a. Indigent People's Day, according to my mom who forgot that it was really Indigenous and not Indigent) last year. Season 3 has been rather disappointing. What's up with the torture plot lines? But I watch it anyway, hoping that Benry really is Radiohead singer Thom Yorke and at any moment is going to break out into a fantastic rendition of my favorite song. Incidentally, this is the best Radiohead video. It's deep, just like Lost tries to be. And we come full circle.

- Heroes - Comic book style stories are very popular right now, aren't they? When I first saw the previews for this show, I thought it was a fictional story based on stories of people who are nice to other people -- help the old lady across the street and that sort of thing. Apparently my mind skipped over the "flying human" and "stopping time by wrinkling your nose" themes. Um, how did I miss that?? At one point someone described the actual plot, and I decided to watch it. I do like this show, though I can't stand the Las Vegas schizophrenic woman and associated plotline. Ugh. That branch of the overall story needs to end.

- Top Design - I'm a big Project Runway and Top Chef fan--after all, who could forget Project Runway's post office challenge or the garden episode, or the Top Chef monkfish episode? The creativity is spectacular. Not just the creativity of the contestants, but the creativity of whoever develops those seriously twisted challenges. When I first heard about Top Design, I had high expectations. They were not met. The one noteworthy thing about Top Design is the fact that judge Kelly Wearstler is trying hard to look like a damsel in distress from a Waterhouse painting. The examples are here and here and here and here and here. Is she starved for attention? It's as if she's trying to take the focus off the contest and contestants, and make herself the "story of the show." Unfortunately, given the boring contestant interactions and blah plotlines, she's succeeding.

- America's Next Top Model - Seriously, I watch this show. No, it's not for the catfights. It has some great dialogue ("I know, right?"), and plot twists (Russian mail order bride??). But if you're really interested in my primary reason for watching ANTM, you'll have to visit my blog this weekend..

- American Idol - It's fascinating to see the confidence. These people really believe they are the best. It reminds me of this video (specifically, watch 4:24-5:26. Peter Serafinowicz, you ARE a pop idol.)

- Psych - Ahh, the sweet, sweet sarcasm. I'm more than a little bitter about the short duration of this show's "seasons." How could it be over already?? It's almost as depressing as the 6-episode British comedy "seasons." In my heart I've already purchased the DVD.

Yeah. Too much TV.

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly

2007-03-24T21:16:00.000-04:00

What are your feelings about computer games? You know what I'm talking about -- those little distractions that are almost more popular than movies. Personally, I haven't been all that into computer games since they've started to become more and more "realistic." Games are SUPPOSED to be unrealistic. The semi-realistic ones are for people who are trying to hide from their real lives. But that's a topic for another day.

What kind of games do I like? Well, on business trips I tend to go for trendy cell phone casual games (at least when I'm not out with colleagues discussing Lost or other fine products of the human imagination). But my favorite genre is probably text-based gaming. It brings back memories of our old Apple IIe. Goodness, I miss that computer.

Thankfully, Homestar Runner produced a series of text-based games--the Thy Dungeonman series. The next best is Peasant's Quest, which is based on my all-time favorite game, King's Quest. I probably shouldn't admit that I have the entire King's Quest series on my computer.

I never got into playing chess (though I do like fancy chess boards), but I do like Othello and Reversi. They may or may not be different games. If you want to know the minute hypothetical differences, feel free to visit the links I included. If you're bored and need something to take up time, I'd be happy to play Reversi with you (via Yahoo Games). I may or may not let you win. :)