Snow day!

Aww, it's the last random recipe of January! Don't be sad. I may post more next month.

Today's recipe is filed under "didn't quite turn out as expected." Tortilla snowflakes! Just fold a tortilla, then cut out shapes, just as you would with a paper snowflake. Careful, cuz they like to break. Unfold the tortilla, then bake at 350 degrees (F) for 10 minutes or so, til it's crispy. The recipe I found had some funky steps after that, like melting chocolate chips on it, but it sounded too complicated. Sprinkle powdered sugar or a cinnamon/sugar combo on it (may need to butter it up a bit to make the topping stick).

End result was okay, but not wonderful. What I did learn was how easy it is to make my own baked (i.e. substantially healthier) tortilla chips! Woohoo!

Pixies:

Nests of Jelly Birds

Jelly birds make chocolate nests, and lay jelly beans. I mean, jelly eggs. Oh, whatever, I just want to provide another random recipe.

OK, today's simple, random cooking lesson is on candy birds' nests. This is a variation on the "chocolate haystacks" recipe, which itself is quite simple. Melt chocolate chips, then mix in a little bit of peanut butter. Stir in chow mein noodles. Drop spoonfuls of the mixture onto waxed paper and carefully smoosh down the center parts. Refrigerate the nests til the chocolate solidifies, then add jelly beans to the middles.

Hmm... this would probably be a good Easter or springtime treat. Ah, so maybe I'm a few months early... At least I used Valentine's Day colored jelly beans.

Yum, sushi!

Anyone who knows me knows of my love for sushi. Oh, wait, it's the opposite. I'm not a big fan of that particular Japanese dish. Or most other Japanese dishes. However, I do like this version. Start with a fruit roll up (unrolled). Add shredded coconut. It wouldn't be sushi without fish... I used the Swedish variety. Roll it up, then slice it. Mmm, sugary...

Feeling pelagic?

I wanted to keep up my January theme of funky foodstuffs, so I went a-lookin' online for creative ideas. And then I found one: cream cheese and olive penguins! Cute idea, sounds easy (only three... er, four... ingredients - large olives for body, small olives for head, cream cheese, and carrots). It was surprisingly aggravating (and messy) to stuff the cream cheese into the olive body. Ah, well, here's my attempt:



Sarah - sorry, but don't ask me to make these for you!! :)

Alphabetical Pizza

I keep coming across these random recipes, and I just have to try them out. This one came from some Men's Health recipe book. You take a pre-made pizza crust (I used one of the Boboli's mini crusts), then top it with Chef Boyardee's alphabet-shaped pasta with meatballs. I couldn't find the Chef Boyardee version, so--despite warnings that Spaghetti-Os are too "soupy"--used the equivalent Spaghetti-Os product. Sprinkle shredded mozzarella and parmesan cheese on top, followed by oregano. Bake til heated through. Voila! As a bonus, you can practice making Scrabulous words while you're eating!

Eat dirt

I might as well continue on my "unusual foods" trend. I mean, why not? It's not as if there are TV shows to discuss. Tonight's food is a favorite from my childhood: DIRT CUPS! Yum.



You've probably heard of these before. It's simple... chocolate pudding, then mashed up cookies. Most people use Oreos, but I can't stand Oreos. Instead, I opted for crushed chocolate mint Milanos. Much better. Top it with a gummy worm or two.

Seafood!

Making my meatloaf cake masterpiece got me thinking about other recipes that are great to take into work the next day. So tonight I made a meal based on my love of giant sea creatures. Credit goes to Taste of Home's Fast Fixes with Mixes cookbook (recipes are fast and creative). The name of this recipe is "Octopus and Seaweed." It's just ramen noodles + a few drops of green food coloring + hot dogs with the bottom 4/5ths cut into 8 pieces.

And here's the end result:



Looks a little better than it tastes... I'd forgotten how salty ramen noodles are!! Ah, well, it was worth it!

Let them eat cake!!

One of my 2008 new year's resolutions is to finish up the family cookbook that was supposed to be a 2007 Christmas gift for my family. It's nearly there. I might actually keep this resolution. Lately I've been cooking and photographing various family favorites (or possible new family favorites) for the book.

Tonight's dish was one I've been wanting to make for a long time: meatloaf cake! I had made the idea up when Emily was taking cake decorating classes. Naturally, when I looked it up later other people had already done it. That's the problem with the Internet -- it's really hard to feel unique and creative. No matter how clever you think you are, someone has probably already thought of it.

Back to the cake. The recipe is very simple... you cook meatloaf (ground beef or turkey) in two small round pans, then stack them (using mashed potatoes in the middle to make your layers stick together). Frost it with mashed potatoes, decorate with cherry tomatoes and ketchup, then serve! Mmmm... Dessert for dinner! Almost. This dish is recommended for April Fool's Day, if you're planning ahead.

Naturally, you want to see pictures. I'm not the pastry chef of the family, but hey, it turned out halfway decent! Except the ketchup was rather uncooperative. See here:





Happy eating!

Please Help Save Emily

One day last week I saw a commercial for the local 11:00 news. They were talking about a new not-quite-official-yet disorder, known as Adult Picky Eating Disorder. After the 10 second clip and basically no additional background research, I have decided that my sister Emily must suffer from this. When she lived with me, the freezer was always stocked up with Smart Ones brand Three Cheese Ziti Marinara, and not much else.

Wondering how you can help expand her culinary horizons? I'm accepting donations. Simply send me a small donation (something ending in at least two 0s, on the left side of the decimal point) and I will do my best to encourage her to eat a wider variety of food. I plan to model her new taste in gourmet foods based on the culinary travels of Andrew Zimmern. I can't wait to see the look on her face when she tries mangrove worms or tripe soup for the first time. She'll love it. And she'll love us for encouraging her to try new things. It's all about being charitable.

A good reason to be crabby

Imagine you're sitting on the beach, or maybe in the water, enjoying a nice chicken meal. Suddenly someone swoops down, throws you into some uncomfortable container, and drags you into the kitchen to become their dinner. Kind of a morbid thought, eh? Well, that's precisely what we did to a dozen or so Maryland blue crabs this weekend.

I spent the weekend in Maryland with assorted family members. We were on the Eastern Shore of the Chesapeake, staying in a house designed by (and formerly inhabited by) famous architect Arthur Cotton Moore. Hmmm... why do I always want to add "Sir" before his name? Anyway, he is known for his "industrial baroque" style. He was the brains behind renovations of such Washington D.C. buildings as the Old Post Office Building and the Library of Congress. His house, described in 2005 by the Washington Post as a "stainless steel mansion," is a very distinctive waterfront property. Here are some pictures:

It's supposed to be hurricane-proof due to the shape of the roof. It is not, however, flood-proof.
This is the view from inside the main house:

I stayed in this building, which used to be the studio. Think of it as something more like the "servants' quarters" now.

Lots of wildlife in the area. Good sunset views as well. Examples:

Yes, deer.


Duck, duck, goose.

Very patriotic.

Check out those eyes.

Column of geese.

Just before the sun sets.

Just after the sun sets.

And then there was the blue crab experience. Maryland blue crabs like to eat chicken necks. Ultra fresh blue crabs taste great. Here is the complete traumatizing experience:












All she wanted to do was smash the crabs with her mallet:

Lesson learned: despite the fact that it made for a good meal, I still prefer living in a world of denial, in which I eat meat that doesn't look like the animal it came from...

In other news, I bought an orchid at the farmers market in St. Michaels. I keep wanting to refer to it as a fern. Hmm... perhaps I should name my orchid Fern to reduce future confusion. Do people name their plants? Whatever. This is Fern, the Orchid:

Rudolph the Red Nosed Main Dish

In my job, I have learned the importance of addressing key points and main themes right at the beginning of whatever I'm writing. For that reason, I have decided to bury my explanation of the title of this blog deep within the text.

OK, on to the important stuff: highlights of this latest trip to Denmark and Sweden. Complete with pictures. My hotel was just around the corner from Nyhavn, which is this lovely area:

We visited Tivoli Gardens a few times. It's mostly an amusement park, but the "Gardens" part is an accurate descriptor. Here are some flower samples.

I've never seen tulips like this before:


More tulips:


And for some reason I kinda like the perspective on this one:


I opted not to ride on the crazy "world's tallest carousel":


On this trip, I learned that Danes have unusual pets. For instance, this woman appeared to be walking a mouse. Whatever it was, it was about an inch tall. Oops, forgot to use the metric system. Whatever it was, it was about 2.5 cm tall.


I got a good pastry shop recommendation. If you want excellent danishes, try Lagkagehuset:


This part is the explanation of the subject line. You will find that Santa won't be bringing me any gifts this year. I can forget about even getting coal or other less attractive gifts with possible market resale value; after this, I think he may have put a hit out on me. Why? Well, we ended up having dinner one night at a restaurant that served grilled reindeer. I ordered it, and it was REALLY GOOD. Who knew!! I don't know why Santa bothers to keep the reindeer around anyway. He should be serving them for dinner, not flying with them!

Moving on, I spent part of one of my days in Sweden, where I visited Lund (a university city) and Malmö. Through postcards in those fine cities I learned psychically that my sister Emily is destined to marry the Prince of Sweden. I mean, really, how could she refuse?

The Cathedral in Lund had this amazing 14th century astronomic clock:


I squandered most of my time in Lund because I had this craving for Swedish meatballs. Seriously, how can you visit Sweden without having Swedish meatballs? The restaurant menus were all in Swedish, and I was feeling introverted, so I ended up ordering my fine meal in a local 7-11. The guy behind the counter heated my fine Swedish meatballs and mashed potatoes in the microwave, then added what turned out to be a delicious lingonberry sauce. I couldn't find a place to sit to eat my gourmet meal, and it had started raining. I wandered over to the main square, where some sort of peaceful protest in honor of the Palestinian/Serbian/Tibetan/other misc separatist movements was taking place. I ended up on a bench that turned out to be right by the very animated speakers, and there I sat, shoveling down the food so I'd have sufficient time to catch the bus.

In Malmö I did a whole bunch of walking. I also made a stop at the local H&M. It's a Swedish chain, so how could I not do my shopping there? If I had seen an Ikea, I would have purchased a souvenir lamp or bed or something. Good thing I didn't come across any. Malmö also has a number of odd statues, such as:

or:


Eventually we crossed the Øresund Bridge, and the trip (and depressing stories about bloody conflicts between Swedes and Danes) ended. This is the bridge:


When we got back, I contemplated having a little bit of (nerd warning) Foo-cacia, but ultimately returned to the hotel.


On my last day in Denmark I spent the day collecting photographs. For instance...

...the great dragon statue thingie on a building:



...a better picture of my beloved "Students Swapping Signs" drawing:



...a picture of the former engagement ring that Søren Kierkegaard had given to Regine Olsen.


I didn't get any good pictures of the ring last time I was there. I do have to correct the record, though. Here's the "correct" story of the ring:


In closing, I just want to say that I love lilacs. There were lots and lots of lilacs in Denmark and Sweden. Lovely...


The end.