At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.

Mother Nature apparently thinks I need to spend more time pondering Valentine's Day this year. Clearly. It's the only explanation for the ice storm that caused all our employers to send us home early this afternoon. Since the only conversation to be had at home was with those little heart-shaped candies, I decided to amuse myself by using my digital camera and random household objects (and, unfortunately, MS Paint) to create mini Valentines.

The initial idea was much more interesting than the final product. But that's not going to prevent me from posting the end results of my effort. I have nothing better to do... except perhaps watch American Idol. Who am I kidding--that's not really better, is it?

If you're still seeking the perfect Valentine to impress that special someone, perhaps one of these would work: (disclaimer: your expectations should be low; the attached are the product of boredom and tiredness after last night's insomnia)

- Valentine #01
- Valentine #02
- Valentine #03
- Valentine #04
- Valentine #05
- Valentine #06
- Valentine #07
- Valentine #08
- Valentine #09
- Valentine #10
- Valentine #11
- Valentine #12 Yeah, this one really, really didn't work out so well. But here are some tips/tricks if you're curious.

If you were completely disappointed by the cards (totally justified), I now present an opportunity to become even more deeply disappointed. Here are some variations on the traditional "Roses are Red" love poetry:

- Inspiring Jealousy:

Roses are red
Brown is an otter;
I think you're cute,
but your best friend is hotter.

- Love from afar:

Roses are red
Blue is the sea
You have a sweet smile
That's never for me

- For people like me, who are terrible with names:

Roses are red
Chocolates are sweet
I hope you don't mind
if I call you Pete

- For all those guys with that long floppy hairstyle that seems to be trendy:

Roses are red
And just 'cuz I care,
You used to be cute.
Now, please cut that hair!

- Bitter against 14 February hype? For you:

Roses are red
The sky is grey
There are few things I hate
much more than this day.

Try writing your own! It's hours of fun when you're stuck at home in an ice/sleet/snowstorm.

Hmm... next time I think I'll just read a book or something.